Page 48 of Their Wicked Ways

Jesse stared at me, his face a blank mask, as I composed myself.

“How did you find out?” I croaked.

He put his drink next to mine. “I went to Envy and saw you and Wes bring someone to the back room.”

“When?” I managed, my chest so tight I could barely breathe.

“The night after your birthday.” He leaned back against the chair cushions, that same blank mask on his face.

The night after my birthday? Shit. That meant he’d been there the night we picked up Jett. Had he recognized him?

“Bet it was a surprise seeing your third on my brother’s crew. I’m guessing you had no idea Jett worked for Quinn when you picked him up?”

I gaped at him.

“Really? Still can’t talk to me about it?” He looked away. The hurt on his face finally knocked me out of my stupor. “Fine.” He stood.

“Wait.”

He stopped.

I motioned for him to sit. “I’m not brushing you off. I’m processing. That’s a lot to throw at someone.”

He sat.

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” I asked.

“Why would I? It’s obvious you didn’t want me to know, and you almost passed out on me just now. I thought we were friends, but whatever. Have your secrets. Ten years of friendship obviously means more to me than it does to you.”

“Jess.” The last of my shock bled out of me in a rush. “It’s not like that.”

He crossed his arms and looked away. “Look. I know you guys will always have stuff you keep from me. I get it. You’re a couple, and that trumps friendship. But you’re both struggling right now, and you’re shutting me out instead of letting me help you.”

“I’m sorry.” I raked my hand through my hair. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right. We shouldn’t have kept this from you.”

“Why did you?” he asked softly.

“Because we didn’t know how to tell anyone.”

I was taking a risk by telling Jesse the truth without discussing it with Wes first, but I was desperate.

Six weeks had passed since Wes and I broke our rules and not only hooked up with Jett again, but we’d kissed him. We’d done the one thing we swore we would never do, and we merged our personal sex life with our play one.

We held nothing back, physically or emotionally, that night with Jett. And it had taken its toll on us.

Wes was avoiding me; it was as simple as that. He constantly found things to do without me, like taking my mother shopping or helping my dad with projects around the house. He’d even started spending hours doing unnecessary errands just to get out of the house on the weekends. And he’d been going to bed earlyto read instead of reading in the living room with me like we always did.

We still had sex and kissed and did all the physically intimate things we’d always done, but there was a disconnect between us that I hated. It was the first time in eight years that we were going through the motions of intimacy. Where every touch felt slightly impersonal, and every night together lacked our usual passion.

I wasn’t innocent in this either. I wasn’t finding reasons to be away from him, but I was holding back emotionally, and that was way worse.

It was the first time in our relationship that we weren’t talking about the important things, and it was killing me.

The only times we were able to pretend we were fine was at work, and when we hung out with the guys after hours. Having a physically demanding job was helpful when you wanted to ignore your problems. We needed to pay attention to every detail to make sure our work was not only up to standard, but that our site was safe for everyone. Being distracted put people in danger, and neither of us would ever forgive ourselves if we were the reason one of our friends got hurt.

I’d thought we’d done a decent job of hiding our issues, especially since we’d pretty much shut everyone else out, but of course we hadn’t been able to fool Jesse.

And we were assholes for trying.