Page 29 of A Love Most Fatal
“I almost got him killed.”
“But did youkiss, Vanessa?”
I keep doing my stationary exercises on the ground in front of her just waiting for her to lose her patience. After another half-mile, she throws a hand towel at me.
Mary and Sean spar on the large mat, and Leo beats on a punching bag, but I am certain they’re all listening. Everyone is so damn nosy in this family.
“Yes,” I say, hoping she’ll leave it at that.
“I fuckingknewit,” Mary says.
“Called it,” Willa adds.
Leo is smart to stay silent after I level a glare at him.
“It was nothing,” I say.Best kiss of my life,I do not add. “Nate made it perfectly clear that he does not want to see me again after that.”
“Bullshit,” Willa says. “You’re a dime, what did he say?”
I finish my set of crunches and lie back on the mat for a few seconds before looking back at my older sister. She looks perfect, even while running. Her perfectly highlighted hair is pulled into a braid thumping against her back and her cheeks are barely red. She doesn’t even look that sweaty.
“He may have told me in no unclear terms to keep myself and my crime the hell away from him.”
Willa hums, speeds the treadmill up a bit.
“Prick,” Sean scoffs.
“No, that’s not so bad. People can adjust!” Willa says.
I watch one of the propeller fans on the high ceiling slightly shaking as it makes its rounds. I’ve already come to terms with the fact that I will not be seeing Nate Gilbert again, not even a parent teacher conference. Tony and a couple of other guys are set up outside his place on a rotation, though, and they send me texts directly every day with updates, usually letting me know that he’s staying inside aside from teaching or walking that dog.
“Do your lunges,” Willa says. I get up. “I think you should call him, you need to get laid. How long has it been?”
“Youneed to get laid,” I say back, though I know for a fact that she does not need to get laid. Her and Sean are open with their love to an uncomfortable level. Like, still borderline making out during family movie nights kind of stuff.
It has been at least a year since I last had sex, and that is a generous estimate. I might guess closer to two.
“I’m not saying you need to marry the guy, Ness, just send a text. He already knows your secrets.”
“It’s not worth it,” I say. “He could never be a part of this.”
Nate is better than us—too good for organized crime.
We work out independently for a while, my family finally taking the hint that I don’t want to talk about it. Willa makes her way onto the mat and drops down next to me after she’s hit seven miles.
“Do you think the attack could bebecauseyou went on a date?” Willa asks.
“Hm?”
“Like, you keep saying no to proposals and then these old heads hear you’re hooking up with some math teacher from Connecticut and something breaks in them? First, you tell them their 22-year-old son isn’t a good fit and then,” Willa snaps, “youstart dating some guy who’s never so much as gotten a speeding ticket?”
I don’t want to say yes, don’t want to admit that it’s very likely that these stupid fucking old men are deciding to question my authority in a way they never would my father. Doesn’t matter that my work has made us all wealthier, has brought us into this century. They would trust me more if I was married, and more so if I was married to one of their sons.
If I had a husband, they could believe that he was secretly making moves for me with me as his little novelty puppet.
“Maybe,” I say.
I shouldn’t have killed both of the men that attacked me. I’ll admit that I got a bit too heated, it’s just that I hate being caught off guard. Especially on the singular night I decided to take off for myself.