Page 51 of A Love Most Fatal
“You wouldn’t know what it’s like having to vet men to make sure they won’t murder you in your sleep or get half of the town pregnant.”
“Well, have you had any luck so far?”
I stalk back to my chair and drop into it. “No.”
“How many have you interviewed?”
“Recently, none. The math teacher is going to do it,” I say.
Cillian barks a laugh at the idea of Nate sitting across from various men in the mafia and asking them questions about how tenderly they might treat a woman, namely me.
“I know,” I say with a sigh and swivel my chair in a full circle. When I’m back to facing him, he’s not laughing anymore, but still grinning. “But not all of us can just go on unmarried until their soulmate comes along.”
“You think I’m looking for my soulmate?” Cillian asks.
Cillian has never been one for serious relationships. I don’t think I’ve known him to have even one long-term girlfriend, everyone in that area of his life is temporary. But that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t, probably, if he met someone.
“Isn’t everyone? Looking for someone who matches them?”
“Ah you see, those are different things. You can meet any number of people who match you, who would make good partners, but I don’t think soulmates exist, not like that.”
Willa mentioned once that Sean and Cillian’s parents had a loveless marriage. We were never so unlucky as to have a home with no examples of love.
“Whether they exist or not, I’ll be lucky to find someone generally compatible on that list.” I point to the folder of men. “I can only do my best to find someone half-decent who knows his place.”
“You want a weak man?”
I don’t say no, but to hear it put like that, that’s certainly not what I want. What do I really want? Someone who pushes me, who makes me think about every side of a problem, someone helpful, and loyal, someone who won’t make me and our children miserable.
“I want someone that I can trust.”
“Am I on your list?”
I laugh but cut off when he doesn’t join me.
He quirks an eyebrow. “You don’t trust me?”
“I trust Leo, but he’s not on the list.”
“Yes, Ness, because Leo is your cousin,” he says.
“And you’re family.”
Cillian glances again at the paper and then hands it out to me. “Let me sit for an interview.”
I scoff but after a quiet moment, I meet his eyes. “Don’t ridicule me for doing my duty.”
Cillian only nods and points again at the paper. “Ask.”
After another unyielding moment, I sigh and lean forward to look over the typed list of questions Nate dropped on my desk this morning. I haven’t been able to review them yet, so they’re as new to me as they will be to Cillian. I motion for him to take a seat and then I get up, only to sit on the other seat next to him. He scoots his to face mine and when we’re all settled in, I take a deep breath and nod.
I start with a simple one: “How many children do you want?”
“A whole brood of them, if I’m lucky,” Cillian says. “I like the sound offive.”
“You’re lying,” I say.
“I’m not. I always wanted more siblings.” Cillian pockets his shirt’s cufflinks and rolls the sleeves up his forearms as he speaks. It’s possible the man may have more rings and watches in his rotation than my sisters and I combined.