Page 37 of Scars Like Wings
“That’s okay! And that’s good! I don’t really know a lot of constellations, but I can point out the ones I know. Since you pointed out the North Star, I can tell you that the Little Dipper is right there. Do you see its handle and ladle? Oh, and if you findthe Little Dipper, the Big Dipper isn’t too far away. And Orion’s Belt is just right there. Do you see them?”
She nodded, smiling brighter than the embers of her joint lighting up her face.
Not wanting to fall into the silence again—even though it was comfortable—I continued. “I know the constellation’s myths and legends, too. I’mthatsort of nerd. I could honestly go on forever about Ancient Grecian stories and the stars, but I prefer to use the stars to connect and see other things.”
Quinn’s golden eyes blazed with interest. “Like what?”
“Oh, like different animals or random things! Like, over there, I can see my cat, Dinah. And there, I see a coffee mug. Oh, and there is a ukulele?—”
“Ihatethe ukulele. Easily the worst instrument.”
“Uh, untrue. The Timpani exists.”
Quinn chuckled. “What has the Timpani ever done to you?”
“Play literally only one note. Ever. Nothing else. At least with the ukulele, you can sing pretty much any song. The Timpani is only for like Gregorian chants and weird yoga classes with a white guy talking to me about chakras, but he was born and raised in Indiana.”
“First of all, you really took me there with that. I can smell the patchouli with an undercurrent of body odor.” Quinn chuckled again. “But back to that stupid ukulele—that’s the problem. It’s so easyanyonecan play that damn instrument. That and it soundshorrible. At least the Timpani has a depth to it. The ukulele is like a novelty toy for kids.”
“I love this passionate hatred for a tiny guitar.”
“It stinks. Anyway, you were saying, about seeing things in the stars?”
I chuckled, almost forgetting what we were talking about. “I mean, I don’t really have a point or anything. I just think it’s allinteresting. The constellations, their stories, and history, what they could be.”
Suddenly, watching her look at me with her bright eyes, I felt bold, warm, and comfortable. I think it was from more than just the heat coming off Quinn in waves and warming me despite the almost-autumn chill. I just felt like I was under a heated blanket after a cold, snowy day, snuggled with a good book I hadn’t started yet. I decided to confess something to Quinn that I hadn’t told anyone or even thought of in years.
“You know, when I was a kid, the whole sky looked like one of the trees behind my house. Each star connected into its own branch. Stray stars became its leaves. The trunk would reach down into our backyard, making the trees below its roots. From stars to stardust to seeds to trees to ash and back all again. It made everything feel connected and whole, a cycle that never ends. That’s what this reminds me of, my woods back home.”
When I finally stopped talking, I turned to look at Quinn. I was expecting Quinn to still be looking forward, staring at the stars like we had just been doing as she smoked. But instead, her golden eyes glowed—even brighter than the embers of her joint—even in the dark as they stared at me. Her look was intense and deep, but her smirk was… hersmolderwas something else entirely. Or maybe something so deeply similar I didn’t know how to react as her look set fire to my heart.
“I-I’m so sorry. When I drink, I get nervous. Especially around pretty girls. I’m sure nothing I even said made any sense?—”
“No, no, no,” Quinn interrupted. “It all made perfect sense to me. I totally get it, and it was beautifully said. I was just going to talk about how I got this telescope as a kid and my cousins broke it immediately, so I couldn’t see the stars like I wanted. But you just said this gorgeous story and made me see them like I never have. I really like that.”
I beamed at her, feeling a warmth inside that had nothing to do with alcohol or her nearness. She ruffled her curls. “Also, you think I’m pretty?”
“Don’t let it go to your head there, starlight.” I rolled my eyes but kept on smiling.
“I simply think that I’m impressing you, is all.” Her smile became downright devilish. Oh, this girl hadnoidea. I had mentioned that Cole was sprung, but maybe it’s me. All for a girl who was almost a stranger, but who I wanted to spend all night with.
Quinn took one final puff from her joint before she ashed and dropped it into the ashtray. She closed the tin and returned it to her back pocket. She ruffled her curls again, pushing them back and shaking her head. It was an action I was beginning to realize had to be a nervous tick of hers but one that I was starting to likea lot. I wanted to feel how fluffy her curls were. I wanted to know how close they felt to clouds in my hands. I tightened my grips around my elbows.
Turning and leaning on the railing with her elbows, Quinn looked so smooth and in her element. “Do you want another drink?”
I nodded, and she held out her hand for me. I took it happily, relishing its warmth and cozy roughness. She led us inside by going through the sunroom and into the den. We spooked some dancers leaning against the door, but they were too drunk to seriously consider our origins.
Arriving at the bar, I saw Nat standing with her back to us while Jesse was shaking a drink. When Quinn and I appeared with our hands clasped, an all too-knowing smile broke out on their face. Nat must have noticed their attention elsewhere because she turned. She beamed when she saw me hand-in-hand with her cousin.
“Oh, mygod!”
Quinn flinched at Nat’s scream over the music, but there was a smile on her face that made her eyes sparkle. “Having fun tonight, Nat?—?”
“I am now! Y’all are so cute together!” she yelled with unbridled excitement. Her energy was infectious.
“Can we just get something to drink without being verbally assaulted?” Quinn asked.
“Only if you getshots!”