Page 121 of Johnathan
“All over it.”
Abby busied herself with finishing the food prep. Emma had been kind enough to agree to bring dessert, aside from the brownies Daisy would be bringing. Grace and Jackson had been in charge of beverages, and that left her and John with the main meal. Seemed reasonable given it was their idea to host their little Friendsgiving.
“Do you need any help in here?” Grace poked her head into the kitchen just as Abby was finishing stirring up her dad’s famous smoked salmon dip. She waved the spatula and shook her head.
“Nope. I’ve got it covered. Do you want anything to drink?”
“Jackson has all the soda and beer we brought for dinner out with him, but I honestly wouldn’t turn down some wine.”
Abby turned away from the counter and opened the fridge.
Shit. If Grace was drinking, that meant she hadn’t gotten pregnant.
“Do you have a preference? Red or White?”
“White please.”
She grabbed a bottle of Riesling and took it to the counter. Once she had a glass poured for Grace and herself, she handed it to Grace and sighed.
“I’m really sorry.”
Grace took a long sip from the glass before looking at Abby, not hiding the tears in her eyes.
“Can I give you a hug?” Abby asked.
“I’d love that.” The two women embraced, the ache in Abby’s heart growing for her sweet friend.
“Sorry.” Grace sniffled and wiped at her nose. “I don’t want to be a blubbering mess during this whole thing.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you got here nice and early. You can blubber away and I won’t tell another soul. I think Katy and Jack will keep our men tied up so we don’t have to worry about them lunking in and interrupting.”
“Thanks, Abby. I just wanted this time surrounding a second pregnancy to be different. To just be filled with love and excitement. My pregnancy with Jack was terrible, and I was so terrified the whole time. I’m stressing myself out about it so much, and I feel so bad for Jackson. I’m basically attacking him the minute he walks in the door after the ovulation test turns positive.”
“I’m sure that’s the last thing you need to worry about. That man is insanely in love with you. I bet he loves you pouncing on him.”
“He doesn’t complain, but I see the weariness in his eyes. I wanted this time to be different for him, too. He missed nearly every part of my pregnancy with Jack. I know that was really tough for him.”
“And I know that wasn’t your fault.”
“My ex took so much from us.”
“I know he did. But you made it to the other side. He can’t hurt you now. He has no hold on you getting pregnant, or having a beautiful time filled with love while you grow your next baby.”
“I wish that was true, but I just can’t stop this feeling that’s deep down in my belly. That he broke me and there’s never going to be another baby.”
“Are you going to talk to your doctor?”
“I’ve already called. Since I didn’t have a hard time getting pregnant with Jack, they won’t consider looking for a problem until after a year of trying. This is only our sixth cycle tracking everything.”
“That seems unfair. I’m really sorry you guys are going through that.”
Grace took another sip of wine. “Last year, when Carter attacked me, I was only two weeks out from my c-section. I can’t help but think that he hurt something inside me, and that’s why I’m struggling to get pregnant now.”
“Grace…”
She waved her hand in front of her face. “It’s just a theory. Dr. Hayes has told me about twenty times that I’ve healed perfectly and there was no permanent damage done.”
“I think you should hold onto that. He’s a great doctor.”