Page 95 of Johnathan
“Katy’s mom.”
“You really want to talk about her now?”
She shrugged. “Seems like you’re pretty relaxed, and I think it’s important I understand the whole picture. I think I deserve to know if I’ll be fighting off some random woman who decides one day to come back for my family.”
Her family.Fuck, he loved the sound of that.
“You have nothing to worry about, baby.”
“I know I don’t. Because I would use every single one of those self defense moves you taught me to stop anyone who thought they could break us apart.”
“I have no doubt you would unleash those pretty claws of yours, kitten.” He sighed and closed his eyes again. “But like I said, you have nothing to worry about. Katy’s mom was a free spirit, and I think that’s the nice way of putting it. We weren’t serious, and back then I was a bit of a…”
“Rebel without a cause?” she offered.
“Sure,” he chuckled. “I think that’s probably saying things in a very kind way. I’m afraid I didn’t live up to my mom’s expectations of me back then.”
“You had a sow-your-wild-oats phase?” She tugged at the root of his hair, and he let out a moan.
“Oh yeah. Big time. I was out west and had all this money from working the oil fields. It went to my head fast. I think the man I am today would like to go back and kick the shit out of the asshole I used to be.”
“So, a free spirit and a man who was sowing his wild oats got together, and along came Katy.”
“Pretty much. All I was thinking about was having a good time, and I think it was the same for her. I was three hours away from Bell Ridge, working and partying, loving my single life. I’ll never forget the moment I read her message about being pregnant. I was such an asshole. Asked her if she was sure the baby was mine. Fucking told her I didn’t believe her, that I wanted a test.”
“You weren’t monogamous. You weren’t in any sort of committed relationship with her.” She swept her fingers over his forehead and gently pulled another fistful of hair at the roots. “Asking for that doesn’t make you a bad guy.”
“Yeah, it does. If someone ever did that to Katy, got her pregnant and then acted like it couldn’t be their baby, I’d be meeting them in a field with my shotgun.”
“John!”
“What? It’s the truth. But she invited me to the first ultrasound, and when I heard Katy’s heartbeat and saw her wiggling around on the screen, I knew I wanted to step up for the both of them. It was like something finally clicked in my brain and in that moment I knew I would do anything for Katy. We moved in together, but the relationship we had by then was purely as co-parents.”
Abby smiled as John continued. “The day she was born, and I held her in my arms, I cried. This precious little girl was mine to protect. Miranda tried. I know that she did. We just weren’t enough for her. When Katy was three months old, I woke up to ascreaming baby and no one else. She’d left in the night and never looked back.”
“She’s never tried to contact you? Never tried to see Katy after that?”
“Not once. After I moved back to Bell Ridge and became a deputy, my parents pushed for me to file for sole custody and dissolve her rights. It was a long process because we couldn’t find her. Last year, a judge finally signed off on the claim of parental abandonment, and I got sole custody of her. Her mom isn’t even listed on her birth certificate anymore.”
“Why not? Won’t Katy want to see that one day?”
“It makes it so Katy can be adopted. So she can have a real mom. Someone who wants the privilege of holding that place in her life.”
“That’s something you would want? For someone to adopt her one day?”
“Is that somethingyouwould want?” he replied.
“Yes,” she whispered. “More than anything.”
Tears gathered in her eyes and she leaned to press a kiss to John’s forehead. “God, John. She’s so lucky to have a dad like you.”
“I don’t know about that. I do the best I can, but it never feels like enough. I feel like I’m always dropping the ball and failing her somehow.”
“You are not failing her. You cannot possibly think that when all you do all day, every day, is make sure she’s safe and feels loved. You do that for every member of your family. You do that for me. You are an incredible man. You are enough.”
He sat up, spinning on the sofa to face her. His hands slid around her waist as he held her until she was straddling his lap. John lifted her chin and kissed her.
“It’s getting late. You should spend the night.”