Page 76 of Always Meant To Be

Beep, beep, beep….

Am I in the hospital?

"He blames himself," my mama whispers. "But he's not to blame for this. I am…."

"Catch me, Mamma…." The little boy giggles, and I turn quickly behind me to see him running toward a swing set.

He's in blue shorts and a black T-shirt, and can't be any older than six.

He's beautiful….

"You killed my daughter…" a voice that sounds like Aunt Agy whispers, confusing me. She sobs, "I-I, I didn't want her, Elena, I just wanted your father, but-but I have to avenge her, I-I don’t want to, but I need to…."

Beep, beep, beep…

She cries softly, beeping echoing in my head. I try to open my eyes, to ask what she means, when I feel light pressure on my face before my father's voice booms, "What the fuck!" and the pressure disappears, everything going black again, the cries and shouts disappearing, peace overtaking me, and I welcome it.

"I love you, Mamma," the little boy rasps, resting his head on my lap, causing me to look down in shock.

He looks so innocent.

His eyes close, and I lift my hand, my fingers going into his hair, and my tears fall.

Up close, I can see some of my features. He has freckles on his nose, my chubby cheeks, and lips.

He's so precious, so beautiful….

Beeping echoes again, and I don't know whether to curse or welcome it.

I now know I'm in hospital, but I don't understand why.

"What's happening, please,” I hear, and the urge to open my eyes hits me hard.

Romeo….

There’s nothing but pain in his voice, and I feel my heart rate pick up; he needs me…. Why can't I move? Why can't I wake up?

What happened to me?

Please….

"We have to deliver; the baby is in distress," a voice I don't recognize says.

Crying and screaming hit me, making my head throb before everything goes fuzzy again, blackness taking hold, and hope builds that I'll get to see the little boy again, the little boy I've just realized is my son.

"Heysestra…."

I turn around in shock. We're in my classroom.

She smiles slightly at me, but my eyes go to the floor, her body lying there unmoved, eyes open….

Oh God, I killed her, I….

"It's okay, Elena…" she whispers, and my tears fall.

I shake my head, still not able to speak.

She was my sister, and I killed her….