Page 78 of Always Meant To Be

I'm aware of my wife's condition; the doc calls several times a day with updates….

"I'm not going," I growl as I grab the bag, looking at my father.

He has bags beneath his eyes and, for once, he’s not in a suit, but instead in a t-shirt and jeans.

I blink. "You look fucking weird…."

He chuckles, running a hand through his unruly hair. "Yeah, well, I didn't see the point in wearing a suit when I know it'll crinkle."

I raise a brow at him. "Think you can take me, old man?"

He smirks. "I taught you everything you know, Romeo, so if I'm telling you to get your ass in the shower and get dressed, you're going to do it." He swallows, then adds, "Everyone is concerned about you…."

I huff. "Well, they shouldn't be…."

Papa snaps, "You are killing random people, Romeo,"

I growl, "The bitch threw herself at me, and this morning I discovered she was blackmailing half the fucking men employed here…."

He tuts. "You're doing it carelessly. You have a son who's about to be born and needs you.…"

I glare. "He needs his mother, not me."

Papa looks at me with sadness, and I hate it. I turn around, and he sighs, "Please, Romeo."

I squeeze my eyes shut, my hands gripping the bag as blood drips from them.

I forgot to tape them again…shit.

Growling, I shove the bag away and storm to the bathroom, not looking back at my father.

Might as well get this over and done with.

It only takes me ten minutes to get showered and dressed before we head to his car. I expected to see his driver, but instead, he slips behind the wheel of an SUV.

He hates driving in the city….

I don't let the emotion show on my face.

Papa drives around the bustling streets of New York City for a few hours, not saying anything, before he pulls up at the hospital, making me sigh.

He puts the car in PARK, and sighs, running his tatted hand through his hair before rasping, "You haven't gone into the room." I don't say anything or react, my eyes on the hospital. “You'll stand outside her door for no more than five minutes before leaving again. She's your wife, Romeo…."

I give him a sharp glare and snap, "I'm well aware of that, Papa, but she's also my fucking tether to this earth. I can't go in that room because I know if she dies, then I fucking die, and I instantly feel fucking guilty because of the child in her belly, the child I ensured she'd get pregnant with!"

Papa's eyes widen. "You'd do that, leave your child?"

I shake my head, leaning it back against the headrest. "Tell me something, Papa, if Mamma was to die tomorrow?—"

He cuts in, "I'd be going with her."

I look at him and raise a brow, and he sighs.

"I can't live without her, Papa. I spent years getting her to love me, months proving to her that I love her…." I chew the inside of my cheek and admit, "I love my son, and I'm excited that he's coming into the world, but I'll be no father if I lose El. Iwould ruin his childhood, and I know I wouldn't be able to look at him without thinking of her. If she dies, I die….”

Papa looks at me with tears in his eyes, and I have to look away, not able to bear his pain when mine is destroying me.

He's quiet for a few minutes, then rasps, "Il mio ragazzo—" but is cut off when my phone rings.