Page 85 of Always Meant To Be

Thirty

Elena – Four Weeks Later

My eyes goover the inscription before me….

Liliya Rose Mikhailov

Beloved Daughter and Sister

That’s it: no sweet words, noin memorium.

Papa didn’t want anyone to know what she did, not wanting people to believe he was a weak Pakhan, but he didn’t want to write anything false.

Shewasa beloved daughter; Mama and Papa did everything for her, clearing up her messes, even if it meant at my expense. She was also a beloved sister until I hit my double digits, and I realized how she treated me was not alright.

I chew my bottom lip, gently tapping Luca’s bottom as I look at the grave.

No flowers on the gravesite.

Papa said the Bratva men showed up at her funeral only out of respect. Romeo refused, so his father went in his place, not wanting anyone to think there was bad blood.

Miguel is also in attendance out of respect for me, being Romeo’s wife, while he ensured Renata stayed at the hotel.

No one else came; no one wants to celebrate her life.

A vision of her dead brown eyes hit me, and I swallow hard, walking over her grave.

Carefully, I take a seat at the headstone, leaning back. I ensure Luca is safely on my chest as I put the red roses on her grave.

Her favorite….

I look at the sky and admit, “I don’t know where to start, Lil….” A gentle breeze brushes over me, and I move Luca’s hat, not wanting him to get cold.

“I have so many regrets, Liliya, so many, and I can’t rectify them because you're gone.” Tears start to fall. “I always looked up to you, always wanted to be where you were, and I have spent weeks trying to figure out where things when wrong, and there are only two times when Mama turned against you in favor of me. I was told, once, when I was born, you were the one to give me the scar on my leg, but I looked back at the footage.” I snort. “Three-year-old you wanted to give me something to play with, not realizing the danger, and you were too small for it to impact you….” I sniffle a little, gently rubbing my hand down Luca’s back. “Then, in therapy, it hit me. I was eight, you were ten, and we were playing outside the gates, the guard busy with something else.” I look up at the sky again. “A hitman came for us, and I pushed you out of the way before he could grab you, but he grabbed me instead. God, I forgot about that time, you know, wanting to block it out.” I sniffle again. “I was only gone for two days, but when I came home, you were different, and so was Mama….”

Luca coos, and I smile.

“I wish things didn’t go the way they did, Liliya. I wish you stayed that loving sister before everything fell apart. I wish Agy never came back into our lives, because she was the one who set up the kidnapping, wanting to use you for money.” Tears coat my cheeks as I croak, “You could have been the besttetushkaif you hadn’t gone down the road you did.”

And I’m not lying, either. If she had stayed the sweet girl that I sort of remember, then she would have been the best auntie, and would have given Holly, Valerie, and Maya a run for their money.

“We could have been happy,sestra, but you let jealousy and greed take over. God, Liliya, I was punished for your lies. I was sold because of your actions, and it's hard because you wouldn’t take accountability for what you did. Instead, you blamed me for everything, when all I wanted to do was disappear into my books.”

I wipe away the tears as I hear a car pull up, and I know instantly that Romeo has arrived.

I had Aldo bring me, and it doesn’t surprise me that he contacted Romeo, who had finally returned to work, being the scary, big bad boss, while keeping his promise to be home by four in the afternoon.

We also sometimes go to his office until lunchtime, just so he doesn’t miss time with his son who’s growing fast.

I watch as he climbs out of the SUV, but he doesn’t walk this way. Instead, he leans against the hood, crossing his arms over his chest, watching me, giving me the time I need.

He looks amazing in his dark gray three-piece suit…

I swallow hard. “I didn’t want this life, Liliya. I wanted to choose who I married. I wanted to have a quiet life.” I look down. “I didn’t want to fall in love with him, but I did, and all you didwas try and destroy the happiness I was trying to find with the man I was forced to marry.”

Anger takes hold.

“Liliya, you were so selfish. You forced this on me and yet blamed me. You made bad decision after bad decision for years, without a care for the consequences. Christ, I was shot because of you!”