Page 29 of Sweet
The.
Fuck.
Jess says something to her about not really remembering, but he’s close to turning scarlet. I can’t really focus on them, anyway. My head is spinning. There is no way. None. And yet… a lot of it adds up.
Cas regularly talks about caring for his animals and Jess still helps out on the family dairy farm. I’ve mentioned Jess to Cas,but never by name. Cas always calls him mysmart best friend—the very same friend Cas thinks I should reconsider dating rather than pursuing anything with him. And whenever I fret about the guy who doesn’t notice me, Cas always assures me that he would notice if he knew me. Jess, by his own admission, has liked me for a very long time, and I never realized. Maybe that’s the real reason why Cas stopped talking to me—he thought for sure I would finally notice what was right in front of me.
I figure Jess has got to be finding guys to hook up withsomewhere. So, he finds me by chance, decides now’s the perfect time since he’s always been too chicken shit to make a move, makes me infatuated with this alternate persona, only to dump me… just so he can swoop in and be the one to comfort me. Fuck, that is some evil genius level shit. Because when push came to shove, I ran right to Jess. The person I’ve known the longest.
Cas himself admitted he knows me—just not how well or if he likes me. And yet, he seems to think I’d recognize his voice… almost as if I’ve heard it a lot. People can sound different on the phone but… I would know Jess, wouldn’t I? Or should I say Cassius… which can easily be shortened to Cas? The only part I can’t fully riddle out is Cas coming back, but that also coincides perfectly with Jess pulling back and trying to make me jealous by going out with Bailey. Almost as if he’s testing my resolve or something. What. The. FUCK.
I glance over at Jess again, and he looks nothing short of uncomfortable. One could argue that making out with your coworker and then getting bombarded by someone from high school minutes later is enough to rattle anyone. Or it could be him panicking that I know who he is now, which has been Cas’s fear from the start. Or it could even be me staring unabashedly at him while still reeling from being hit upside the head with this truth sledgehammer. Looking as guilty as he does isn’t helping.
My mind utterly devolves while ringing this lady out. By the time she leaves the store, I reach two conclusions. One: more than likely, if Jess is Cas, he’ll freak out if he suspects that I recognize him. And two: if I confront Cas about this but guess incorrectly, he will get so spooked he may disappear again, anyway. My only option at this point is to say nothing at all andmaybeI’ll show my hand when I’m more certain. In the meantime, I’m going to try to get as much info from both of them as possible and go from there.
The door dings again and Jess waves once to his friend, who holds it open for another customer. We’re never this busy at this time of night. Then again, our version of slammed is dusting off the second register. The guy who just came in walks right past the register on his way to the back, but he pauses and smiles at us. It’s Bailey.
“Hey, Jess.” His eyes dart toward me. “Will.”
Not even a hello for me. I see how it is. I smile anyway. “What brings you out this way, Bailey?”
“Oh… you know…”
No, I don’t. Spit it out, man.
“I’ve never seen you shop here.” Jess stands at the end of the register, where he bagged for me while I rang out his friend. Why he’s still here eludes me until I notice the glare he’s throwing.
“I know.” Bailey’s eyes drift momentarily to the floor. “Long overdue to check this place out, but I’m not exactly close by.”
Which is not at all true. The store is on the main road. If Bailey wants to avoid driving past us to get to the only chain grocery store in town, he has to take the back roads going to and from his place. Not that I should even know any of that.
Bailey’s eyes flick up once more and land on me while he gnaws into his lower lip.
Jess notices. That, and how despite nothing being said between us, Bailey and I continue to linger too long on oneanother: me with a burning hunger to lick the sweetness from his skin and Bailey with apparent naïveté while he regards me.
Then Bailey’s right back to focusing on Jess with a smile. “Anyway, it’s nice seeing you. I’m going to…” He points to the back of the store.
I really want to believe Bailey meant the plural version of you. Likely because I still want to think he’s got some interest in me, but I can’t gauge him to save my life. Last week, he’s flirting with me and we’re eye-fucking; today, not even a greeting and he can barely say a word to me. Whenever Jess is around, Bailey treats me like a ghost. His eyes still instinctively shift to my presence, but he almost never acknowledges me. I don’t get it.
Why Jess? Why pursue him and pretend to be shy around me? And yeah, sweet as it is, I’m sure it’s a routine. There’s nothing bashful about the guy who held my gaze last Sunday while sucking his finger. Fuck, and thinking aboutthatgets me hard at the register. Thank fuck for the apron that’s part of our uniform.
Bailey comes back with a huge bag of garlic bulbs, which he promptly sets on the counter.
“Vampires?” I tease.
Jess, for whatever reason, still hasn’t left the bagging area and snorts at my joke.
Bailey laughs along, but his heart’s not in it. More the kind you do when you know people are laughing at you and not with you, but you’re too socially awkward to ignore the cue of laughing along even when it’s at your expense. He swipes his card before I can even say the total. “No… um… garlic and honey… never mind,” he mumbles.
Now, I don’t know who once told this precious ray of sunshine to shut up about his special interests, but I want to knock their teeth in. So I try not to let my agitation be misinterpreted. “If you’re making dinner, don’t get too detailed. We’ve got another five minutes to close and we’re both starving.”
Bailey has that nervous trill to his laugh again, but when I smile at him, he shifts and launches headfirst into an excited prattle the same as before. “No, you can ferment the garlic in honey as a remedy. Lots of people use it like cough syrup. Honey is naturally antibacterial.”
“Interesting,” I say, trying to sound genuine. “Sounds better than mellified man, but that’s not real. Is it?”
“The fuck is that?” Jesse asks.
Maybe I’ve made the conversation too morbid, but instead of recoiling at my contribution, Bailey’s mouth twitches slightly before he smiles again.