Page 58 of Axel

He stared at her for a second before looking at his hand on her cheek. She made him feel wonderfully alive and with her, he felt like taking the plunge, but he was still afraid that he was doing the wrong thing and wondered if he could trust her.

But as far as letting her go, he felt as if his entire life was imploding. She steadied him. He loved making love to her. It was the most passion he had ever felt in his life, and he wanted more of it. But he could not say the ‘L’ word, not yet. He still had things to deal with.

“I am fiercely attracted to you.” He began slowly.

“That’s a start. Continue.” She urged.

“As far as marriage is concerned, I am not there yet.” He saw when her expression turned slightly chilly. “I am sorry.”

“It’s because of her.”

“Among other things. Look, I want to be in your life and am asking you to be patient.”

“For how long?”

His eyebrows lifted. “Is there a time constraint?”

“I am not going to sit around and wait for you to make up your mind. I might be in love with you, but I value myself too much to sit and wait around for you to decide if you want to be with me. My dad is still doing that after so many years and I have no intention of following suit.”

“Got it.” Letting go of her face, he rolled away and got off the bed.

“Are you leaving?”

“Do you want me to stay?”

“Yes, but I am not going to beg you to.” Easing herself up, she dragged the sheets to cover her nakedness. “You were honest with me, and I was doing the same.” She watched as he walked over to stare into the fire.

“You are right.” He finally turned to look at her. Her hair was tousled, a thick lock falling over her forehead. Her lips were moist and swollen from his ardent kisses and the sheet was barely covering her pert breasts.

She might be carrying his seed. He had not bothered to use anything and had already made love to her twice already. He had been incredibly hungry, his body craving hers. And it still was. It frightened him how intense his passion and desire for her was.

“I don’t want to lose you.”

Pushing the sheets down, she held out a hand. “I don’t want that either.” She told him huskily.

Leaving his place at the hearth, he went to her and took her in his arms.

*****

“You did not have to make us breakfast. “Ellie protested as she accepted her second cup of excellent coffee. “And you should not be working!”

“Nonsense.” Caitlin waved dismissively as she stared at the couple, a beaming smile on her face. “I am so happy, I could burst.”

“We are not talking wedding just now.” Her son warned, watching as her smile collapsed.

“We want to wait for a while.” Ellie kept the smile on her lips. Last night had been magical. He had kept her up for most of the night as if he could not get enough of her.

And this morning, she had opened her eyes to feel his arms wrapped possessively around her waist. She was determined not to think on the fact that he had not returned her avowals of love or said anything about her comment of wanting him for her husband and the opportunity to bear his children.

“What on earth for?”

“Mom!”

“No.” She shook her head. “You love each other…”

“It’s our decision and we would appreciate you not interfering.” Pushing back his chair, he started towards the door. “I have some calls to make and a video conference.” He paused at Ellie’s chair, amber eyes staring down at her. He was aware he was doing something wrong but could not stop himself. Kissing her on the head, he headed out.

The silence following his departure was taut with tension, until Caitlin, refilled her cup and sat back down, a frown on her forehead.