Page 43 of Hide From Me

I quickly scrolled through Calliope’s missed calls and texts. I had realized that I’d left her last night, but I wasn’t sure she had noticed. Her texts said she had.

Calliope: If someone kidnapped you, I don’t think those Spectors will be happy. Text me back.

Calliope: Bitch. Where are you?

Calliope: The bartender said you went with the boss?

Calliope: For fuck’s sake. Boss?

Calliope: That’s it, I know you’re dead.

Me: Not dead. Not sure about the boss, but Cas found me.

The little bubbles appeared for a bit before her message came back.

Calliope: Tell me you got laid by that tattooed god.

Me: I am not telling you anything. I gotta go see about a dead body.

Calliope: Holy shit. Call me later.

Me: Yeah. Will do.

The Tamagotchi beeped from across the room, and I realized I needed to drown the thing instead of revive it. Again, I didn’t need a plant either if this was how I treated a fake anything. What a day full of revelations, and I hadn’t even been up for two minutes. I checked one more text, but this one was from Cas.

Cas: Take the meds and remember you’re mine.

That shouldn’t have given me goosebumps, but it did. I might have had a little more to drink than what was needed, but I remembered everything. His touch. His kiss. His taste. I shimmied my ass to the edge of the bed and winced at the soreness between my legs. A warm shower was needed before I could go to work, that was certain.

My phone beeped again, but this time I was still holding it.

Cas: Good morning.

I looked around the room again, trying to find the stupid spy cam, and stuck my tongue out. The phone beeped again.

Cas: I’d love to show you how to use that tongue, sweetheart.

Me: In your dreams

My phone beeped again.

Cas: Always

I wanted to be all worried about the fact I was fucking naked, but I’d have to forget that he’d literally seen most of me or all of me. Hell, he was the reason I was naked. He’d gotten me home, that part he’d held up his promise on. He’d gotten me up here and in bed. But when I’d asked him to lie with me, he’d had some excuse and left me.

It shouldn’t bother me. I was alone all the time anyway. It was just easier that way. But if that was all true, why did it bother me?

I put my phone down and headed to the bathroom. I had to work regardless of whatever creepy shit Cas had somehow done to my apartment. This was by far the nicest place I could afford, and I didn’t want to lose it by not getting paid.

The shower, although inviting, just really made me feel more alone than I had the night before. Why had alone never truly been an issue? I sighed and finished up, staying just long enough to fog up the mirror.

I wiped my hand over the glass and stared at my reflection. How did I still have no idea who the hell I was? Was I happy? Was I unhappy? Confused? That one I could check off at least.

I could hear the phone beep again and knew it was probably the reminder that I was supposed to be on my way to the dead person. I might not know who I was, but at least I could count on always knowing I had a purpose. Dead people needed me to help figure out what their purpose was after death. Help solve a murder or just give people something to cry over? Choices, choices.

I tossed on my jeans and a tank top, placing a flannel on to complete whatever this look was. The brush caught on a few tangles in my long wet hair. I hadn’t even realized how long it had gotten until I had to curl it all last night. Self-care was foreign to me. No one ever taught me that I mattered and needed to care about myself.

Maybe I’d start that tomorrow. I stepped back into my room and heard the beep of the dying little electronic pet remind me that I couldn’t even take care of a fake pet. Maybe I had a lot of work to do.