Page 37 of Neo

“Good night, Violet.”

* * *

I haven’t had a great night’s sleep in almost a year and last night was no different. Well, there was one difference.

For months I’ve been replaying last year over and over in my dreams. In some iterations of the dream, I’m chastising my mother for not being forthcoming with me. I think it’s because after her death, I discovered that she may not have had some sort of random aneurism at all. Mom had a myriad of health problems that she was keeping from me, some of which I’m sure contributed to her outcome.

But last night I had variations of the same dream all starring one Neo Major. In one of the ridiculous dreams I had, he finger fucked me in the middle of an Econ class while people stared at us. Some with envy. Others in disgust. It was awackadoodledream, and I was the star.

After tossing and turning half the night, I overslept and wake up the next morning to find a simple one word text from Neo implying that he’s left.

Neo: thanks

I lay still, thinking about our evening together and what almost happened between us. If I hadn’t come to my senses, there’s a strong chance I would have slept with him.

Who the hell am I right now?

I don’t just sleep around with random guys I don’t know. That isn’t me. The last time I had sex, it was with Elijah and that was only after we’d been seeing for close to six months because that’s who I am.

I have rules.

Standards.

I get to know the guy and maybe even some of his friends as well. I check his social media. I check the dating sites to make sure he isn’t on them actively looking for a hookup. I ask for STD results.

Usually, I do all the things.

Not this time.

This time, I came dangerously close to breaking all my rules.

I can still feel the delicious traces of Neo’s calloused fingertips along the skin of my inner thighs, but now that my head is no longer clouded from his presence (and from lust), I understand now more than ever that it would be in my best interest to forget what almost happened. Not that I’m interested in the possibility, but there could never be anything romantic between Neo and me.

I’m Violet, the scholarship student and book nerd. He’s Neo the hockey god, university treasure. If there was even a chance of something happening between us, it would inevitably be short-lived and only end badly for me.

I’m a realist.

And I know his kind.

His big, beautiful kind.

They’re absolute trouble.

And I’m not going to make the same mistake that my mother did. I refuse to repeat history.

As I head to the kitchen for breakfast, I almost trip over a surprise sitting right outside my bedroom door. There’s a small Christmas tree plugged into the outlet near my door with gold lights and ornaments twinkling merrily, and there’s a small note attached.

“You’re going to get there, Grinch, and this tree is the first step. Merry Christmas.” – Neo

kennedy

I trudge into the warm,festive living room, the smell of pine and cinnamon greeting me, almost like nothing’s changed. I grew up in a house where my parents took the holidays very seriously, wanting to make it magical for me, their golden child. My parents were always the older couple at back-to-school nights, a result of my mother having three miscarriages and a battle with infertility before giving birth to me.

It hadn’t even been six weeks after high school graduation when they both sat me down to a dinner of my mom’s homemade soup dumplings to have a “talk”. I immediately started crying, believing they were about to tell me that one of them had cancer. Their mortality had always been a worry of mine since I was a little girl.

It wasn’t cancer.

It was worse.