Page 74 of Neo
I stop at her words, my hand freezing on the doorknob to the locker room. I have stepped on some folks on my way to the top and there may be some truth to what she’s said, but I keep my voice steely as I reply without turning back, “You knew what this was from the start, Vikki.”
With those words hanging in the air between us, I walk out of the rink and toward the locker room area, shutting the door behind me. It closes with a quiet click, but inside me it feels like a loud bang.
As I walk down the hallway, I hear a blood-curdling scream of anger, and the guilt inside me stirs once again. I’m not proud of what I said or what I’ve done, but I push those unproductive feelings down and remind myself that this was necessary. Fucking my way to team captain was never my goal or end game. It was just a coincidental by-product of sleeping with the coach’s daughter, but now it’s time to move completely on from Vikki and all that she represents.
I’m not who I am because of the people I know, but by what I can do on the ice. And it’s time that I stand completely in the power of who I am and what I bring to the table with or without her and Coach Dixon as my allies.
I’m Neo fucking Major.
Ice Mafia king.
Puck magician.
The future of this sport.
neo
My father flew allthe way from Ohio and didn’t tell me he was coming until he landed. We had one phone conversation about the pro offers on the table and now I’ve been avoiding him ever since. That’s why he’s here.
He’s standing opposite me, in the patio area of the ice house, the air around us thick with tension. He’s got that look in his eyes, the one that means he’s about to lie down the law.
“Neo, you need to choose one of those NHL offers now,” he starts, his voice firm, brooking no argument. “Opportunities like this don’t come around often. You know that. Now if you ask me, the one with the Maple Leafs is the one you should take. It ain’t the Rangers, but it’s a good city, a great offer, and you can wear that jersey with pride.”
I clench my fists, trying to keep my voice steady. “Pop, I want to finish my degree. The team needs me.”
My father scoffs, pacing the room. “The team? This isn’t about some college team. This is about your future. Your career. Do you have any idea how many kids dream of this chance? Do you realize the sacrifice your mother and I made paying for hockey, getting you to your practices, your games, and all the other shit?”
I feel a surge of frustration. “It’s not just about hockey. There’s more to my life than that.”
He stops, turns to me, his expression hard. “More to your life? Like what? That girl Violet I’ve heard about? You’re going to throw away your future for a college romance?”
“It’s not just about Violet,” I counter. “I made a commitment to my team, to my education. Waiting a year won’t hurt my chances of playing in the NHL, but it could mean everything to my teammates.”
To her.
My father shakes his head, his disappointment palpable. “You’re being naïve, Neo. This is your chance to secure your future, to make something of yourself. Don’t let sentimentality cloud your judgment.”
I take a deep breath, feeling the weight of his expectations bearing down on me. “It’s my life, Dad. My choice. I want to do this my way.”
He pauses, then his tone changes, a note of warning creeping in. “And what about the truth, Neo? About the accident? There are people on the internet looking for a story all the time and if they dig hard enough, they’ll find it. If you stay here, the truth might come out while you’re in college and then there’s no NHL offers after that. You’ll be back home working at the local supermarket with Ken’s son.”
I flinch. The memory of the accident is like a physical blow. “I know what happened, Dad. I live with it every day.”
“And if it comes out that you were the driver and not Jake? It could ruin everything,” he presses. “Your mother and I lied to the state police. We lied! We lost one son and weren’t going to lose the other, but I’m pretty sure what we did was a crime. Going pro now, it could be your chance to leave it all behind. Start fresh.”
I shake my head, a mix of anger and guilt churning inside me. “I never asked you and mom to lie for me. I didn’t want you to. Your cover up has been eating up me inside for years!”
He looks at me, his expression softening slightly. “I know you loved your brother. I’m just trying to protect you, Neo. To give you the best chance at life. Don’t let Jake’s death be for nothing.”
There it is.
No matter how he sugarcoats it or tries to reframe it, my father blames me for his favorite son’s death and he will continue to make me pay for it until the end of time. The thing is, maybe I should be paying for it? If I had told the truth back, then there’s a very good chance I would have gone to a juvenile detention center. That’s a hell of a lot worse than appeasing my parents by going pro now.
Lucia interrupts the tense mood when she walks out and offers my father some refreshments. I think she may have done it on purpose to give me a break from him. She’s amazing like that.
“¿Os traigo algo de comer o beber, cariño?”
Lucia is pleasantly surprised when my father answers back, “May I have a Coke or Pepsi please?”