Page 59 of Freeing Emily
My heart still sings for him, and I hate it. I hate how much I love him; how much Ineedhim like my body needs oxygen.
I haven’t told him that he’s one of the reasons I stayed alive in Vladimir’s trading. I haven’t told him that on the days I wanted so badly to give up, his presence kept me going.
And I never will.
He looks up from his phone and smiles wide when he sees me watching him. He stands and pockets his phone as he makes his way over to me.
“How did it go?”
I plaster on a smile and nod.
“Great. Really great,” I say.
His eyes bounce between mine and I avert them before he can spot the lie.
Liam has always been the one who could read me without any difficulty whatsoever. The last thing I need is for him to know just hownotokay I really am.
She’s lying. I know she’s lying. But what do I say that won’t cause her to spiral? That would cause her to push me away? She thinks I can’t see the lies she tells me, but I can read Emily’s expressions better than anyone else. IknowEmily… And I’m losing her.
When we brought her home a few weeks ago, she started making remarkable improvements right away, and I immediately knew something was off. No one else sees the times she stares blankly at the wall or the counter. No one sees the way she reacts to things that aren’t really there.
No one sees that Emily is trapped in her mind and can’t find a way out.
I thought maybe taking her to the garden and doing things she used to do would help but she refuses. She spends so much time locked in her room alone. I don’t know what she experienced, and I expected major changes in her, but I wasn’t prepared for the isolation she seeks. She very rarely wants to be around anyone.
Even her interactions with Sarah and Paige areoff.Sure, she’ll laugh and smile, but it never reaches her eyes.
Her eyes haven’t brightened since the day I carried her out of that basement and it’s eating at me.
I don’t know how to save her. Don’t know how to free her from the demons that haunt her.
But I’ll be damned if I don’t find a way to.
I hold out my hand and she stares at it for what seems like minutes before finally sliding her palm into mine. The warmth of her skin brings me some sense of peace because she’s actually here. She’s alive.
We walk to the SUV in the parking garage, and I open her door for her. She glances to her left and tenses.
Following her line of sight, I see nothing that would cause her reaction.
I never do and fuck if I don’t want to be the one to take away her trauma. To break the chains that bind her in darkness.
“Emily…” I say gently and she spins to face me.
Fear flashes through her eyes before fading away to her usual blankness that I’ve come to loath.
“Sorry,” she mumbles under her breath before climbing into her seat. Once she’s settled and buckled, I shut the door, walk around the hood of the SUV, and climb into the driver’s seat.
Emily is staring at the dash with an odd expression on her face.
“Are you okay?” I ask, but she doesn’t react.
She continues to study the surface before tipping her head slightly to the side and furrowing her brows. After a moment, she shakes her head as though clearing her mind, and then faces me.
“Huh?”
I scan her face; my heart is heavy with grief for the Emily I used to know. I smile tightly then let out a deep breath before starting the ignition and pulling out of the parking garage.
The drive back to the estate is quiet, I can feel Emily’s eyes on me every so often, and I can’t help but do the same to her.