Page 112 of Rule Breaker

Axel finally looked up and nodded at me. There was a hint of a smile on his face. It wasn’t a total show of support, but I’d take it.

We hung around with the guys for a while, downing more shots and shooting the shit. Everyone seemed okay, but only time would tell.

Maddox and I headed back to the dorm. When we got to his room, there was a question in my mind that had been waiting for too long.

“I want to ask you something—but don’t say no right away,” I started.

Maddox leaned against the door, sliding one hand around my waist, and the other over my ass, pulling me in tight.

“I’m listening.”

“I want you to come?—”

“Yes, please.”

I laughed and kissed him quiet.

“Not that.” I paused and looked into his eyes. “I want you to come with me when I volunteer next week.”

Maddox’s grip tightened. “You mean help out with the sports charity?”

I nodded.

“I haven’t been back in a while, but it’s time. And I know peopling isn’t your thing, but if you saw these kids, Mad.” I paused and leaned in closer. “They’ve been through so much already in their lives. If anyone can relate, it’s you.”

Maddox opened his mouth, but not a word or a sound came out.

“Mad?”

“Um, yeah. I’ll go with you,” he muttered. “But you’re going to have to help me. I have no idea what to say or do.”

“Just be yourself.” I smiled at him. “Minus the swearing.”

Maddox bit his lower lip. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

It was the best idea.

The following week, Maddox made good on his promise and came with me to All For Play. We set up an adapted lacrosse game for the kids and having something structured to do helped ease Mad’s anxiety. Two of the quietest kids in the group gravitated toward my boyfriend. I wasn’t the least bit surprisedas I watched both Maddox and the kids slowly warm to each other. They asked him tons of questions about being a goalie, and he patiently answered each one. In fact, it was the most relaxed I’d seen him in any social situation outside of hockey. He even cracked a smile. Several times.

If Maddox hadn’t already stolen my heart, this would have clinched it.

Afterward, I told him I’d never been prouder. His response was typical; he rolled his eyes and played off like it was no big deal. But I knew it was. For him,andfor us.

Maddox

Coming out to the team wasnotthe shitshow I’d anticipated. And I was more than relieved that Kayden and I didn’t have to hide. There were a few guys that looked uncomfortable with the news, but that was their problem, not ours.

It was dealing with the other stuff in my personal life that was daunting. Going back to my therapist, for one thing. Telling them about the panic attack I’d had after the game with Langston and dredging up the past again. I’d be in therapy for a long time. And you know what? That was okay. I was going to do what I had to in order to live my life on my terms.

A couple of weeks later, I finally got around to emailing my father’s lawyer. It was time to get that over and done with. I had a plan for what I was going to do with my inheritance. And when the lawyer sent me the paperwork and everything was signed, I contacted an accountant and got my financial stuff in order. My mom had left me enough for college and savings, and I didn’t need anything else. So, after discussing with Kayden and Daniel, I donated what my father left me to several charities, including All For Play. Anonymously, of course.

It didn’t erase what my father had done, but it left me feeling lighter than I had in years. Tackling my painful past and doing something positive with it was its own kind of freedom. Slowly, the grip he’d had on me, even after death, was easing.

And when February rolled around, we were back on the ice. Only, this time, I wasn’t the one in net. I was helping Kayden as a volunteer with All For Play’s sledge hockey series.

After the volunteers—which included me, Jace, and Dane—helped get the kids into their sleds, Kayden pulled me aside.

“What do you think?” Kayden asked.