Page 3 of Rule Breaker
“The energy’s fucking intense,” I replied. “Pretty feral.”
Dane nodded and yanked off his jersey. “I know what you mean. We’ve got a lot of talent, but high expectations. Everyone’s out to prove themselves.”
Coach Banning had given us a post-practice welcome speech. Getting us ready for the season. The pressure was on this year to reach the top college spot. Sutton had consistently ranked in the top ten, but last year, under his leadership, was the first time the school had broken the top five. Now, it was onwards and upwards.
And, despite my shitty start with our goalie, I was pumped. Like all the guys on our team, I was aiming for a spot in the professional league in the not-too-distant future. My dream job. And I wouldn’t let anything or anyone affect that. Or change who I was.
I tried my best to make friends with everyone. It’s the way I was raised, in a family of eight. You go along and get along or chaos erupts. Not only that, but when you’re the odd one out—struggling to learn, well, anything—in a sea of high achievers, you find a way. A way to fit in. My two brothers and three sisters were smart as fuck; top of their class. Like my parents, who owned a successful real estate company. Me? What did I have? Size, strength, and a knack for hockey. Oh, and I had people skills. I could poke fun at myself and make others laugh. ‘Goofy,’ ‘golden,’ and ‘adorkable’ were tags I was used to. But it had taken me a long time to get here.
In high school, before I hit my growth spurt, I was picked on relentlessly. Every day I was told by other students that I was stupid or worse. Things got so bad that to this day, I still hear the echo of their taunts in my head.
“Dumb fuck, why don’t you quit already?”
“Moron.”
“Loser.”
It’s just words. I’d been told to move on.Get over it.Easier said than done. That shit replays in your head like earworms, and never leaves.
My phone buzzed, but I ignored it. It was probably another message from my academic advisor asking for a meeting. Unlike most students, I didn’t get accepted at Sutton because of my outstanding grades. Thanks to hockey, I’d earned a full athletic scholarship. But there were conditions. I was supposed to maintain a minimum 2.0 GPA or a C average. Last semester I barely got there, even with tutors.
The thought of losing that scholarship, of having to go back home a total failure, suddenly loomed larger than any opponent I faced on the ice.
When I looked up at Dane again, he was already undressed, a white towel around his hips.
“Jackson and I are going to head in town for a bite. Come with?” Dane asked.
Jackson was Dane’s new roommate, but his old friend. One that Dane knew from his high school days in Arkansas. Dane had been acting kinda strange the past week, but I figured he was still getting used to living with his former classmate. Jackson was also an athlete, but with the rowing crew. I liked him the moment I met him. He was quieter than Dane, but funny and kind. He’d even helped me and Dane organize the welcome week games and brought his crew to our practice today to watch us play.
I was about to reply to Dane’s dinner suggestion when my phone buzzed again.
“Hold on.”
Reluctantly, I tapped my phone, and sure enough, there was a message from my advisor. We had a meeting scheduled tomorrow at ten. I confirmed that I’d be there, my stomach nowin a painful knot. I was always freaking hungry after practice, but suddenly food didn’t seem like a great idea.
“Sorry, you said you’re going into town?” I asked.
Dane nodded, reached for his water bottle, and took a long gulp.
“I’m happy to come with,” I replied. “If you don’t mind a third wheel.”
My friend spewed his mouthful of water all over the bench, nearly dousing me.
“Bud, I know I need a shower, but I’d rather wait for one without your germs,” I teased.
Dane wiped his mouth, grabbed a spare towel, and wiped down the bench. “Fuck, sorry about that.”
“What’s with you?” I asked. “You’ve been jumpy all week. And, let’s be real, I’m usually the one who does clumsy shit like that.”
It was true. The only time I was coordinated was on the ice. Off it, well, let’s just say that my dorkiness was well known. It was the same when it came to everything, including sex. Not that I’d had any yet. Not that I’d tell anyone. Yup, still a virgin at soon-to-be twenty years old. Fuck me. Or, in my case,not.
Sure, I’d made out with a few girls at parties, but nothing more than that. It was fun, but I didn’t feel anything more than mild interest. Maybe because I was always the last option. My female classmates preferred the slick, smart guys who had big plans. I was the friendly guy, the one who knew everyone, but no one really knew. The shoulder to cry on when they got dumped. The placeholder.
“I’m fine, I’ve just got lot on my mind. And you’re not a third wheel. Jace is coming too, but he’s gonna meet us there later,” Dane muttered as he finished dressing. “See you out front?”
I nodded and grabbed my phone again. I added a reminder about my appointment tomorrow. If I didn’t, I’d forget for sure.And speaking of which, one of my notifications pinged. I reached into my backpack and searched for my meds. I’d been diagnosed with ADHD in high school. Meds helped to an extent, especially with my concentration when it came to tasks. But it wasn’t a cure-all.
Once I downed the pills with electrolyte water, I shoved my hockey gear in the stall, grabbed my shampoo and body wash, and headed for the showers.