Page 82 of Rule Breaker
“Just like that?”
I recognized the hurt in Kayden’s voice, and I saw in it his eyes. But it couldn’t be helped. I wasn’t cut out to be… whatever this was we were doing. Or I was playing at. The only game I was good at was hockey. Anything else felt totally out of my league.
“Yeah, just like that,” I bit out, grabbed my shit, and got up. “I gotta go.”
I expected Kayden to stop me, but he just sat there, staring.
“And finals?”
“We can squeeze in one more study session. Just no more touching.”
“Got it,” he snapped and looked away.
“Kay, look. I was honest with you. I’m just coming to terms with the fact that I’m gay, never mind, anything else. And I told you I’m not cut out for this shit.”
“This shit?”
“You know what I mean.”
“No, I really don’t. Cause I thought you were into me, I thought you liked me, hell, maybe even—” he paused and shook his head. “Whatever. It’s just me being stupid again.”
“What did I say about you calling yourself that?” I bit out.
“You’re right.” He glared at me. I’d never seen him this angry. “This time, you’re the one who’s acting dumb. Just go already.”
I headed for the door, and I didn’t look back. This was better for both of us. Kayden was under enough pressure with his classes. What if we got caught? The last thing he needed was to be outed. And me? With every passing week, I realized that one day I’d be okay with telling people I was queer. But telling people I was into Kayden? That was a whole other thing. A truth that could threaten everything we were working for.
I walked back to the dorm, but unfortunately, Dane spotted me when I was halfway across campus.
“Maddox!” he called out and ran up to me.
“What?”
“I just wanted to say hi,” Dane replied. “Wait. I thought Kayden had a study session with you today?”
“He did,” I snapped. “It’s done.”
Dane looked at me, his expression confused. “Okay, sorry I mentioned it. Everything all right?”
“I’m helping him with his course. That’s all. There’s nothing else going on.”
Dane raised one eyebrow. Shit. He knew. He fucking knew. Duh, he’s Kayden’s closest friend. Why was I surprised?
“You know?” I bit out.
He nodded. “He needed advice, someone to talk to. To figure things out.”
“And he told you everything?”
“Not everything, but enough. And he came to me because—” Dane looked around and then whispered. “Fuck it. He came to because I’m queer. Jackson and I are together. And when Kayden came to us with questions about possibly being into a guy, of course he told me. He thought he was straight until?—”
“Until me.”
Fuck, fuck.
Dane nodded. “But I haven’t said anything to anyone. I wouldn’t. I’m only out to a few close friends, and I’d never do that to anyone.”
I nodded.