Page 77 of Menage a Passions
They acknowledged her well thought-out answer, Washington joking that she really was a pageant veteran. “What do you do now?” she asked. “Housewife?”
“No, actually, I own a venture capital enterprise with my wife.”
“Your wife?”
“Yes.” Caitlyn dabbed her mouth with a napkin. “Her name is Jane. From Hong Kong.”
If faces could have loading screens, she was surrounded by them.
“How lovely,” Tandy said. “It truly is a new dawnanda new age, ladies.”
Mrs. Georgia rolled her eyes. “How convenient the pageant found the one woman in Iowa married to an Asian lady. That’s a lot of boxes checked.”
“But are you a mother?” Arkansas inquired. “I’ve got four.”
“No, I’m not a mother. Although we did take in my wife’s niece so she can study here in the States. Legally, though, I’m not much of a guardian. Never had that gene in me.”
More relief crept over their faces. Even Tandy let out a breath.
“I’m sorry,” Caitlyn said. “I think I’m missing something here. I know even if any of you are homophobic or racist, you are well too trained to say that to my face. But you were relieved to hear that I was brought in at the last minute to represent Iowa before knowing anything else about me.” Gone was the peaceful beauty queen mien. Adorned was the ruthless businesswoman who had two lovers to go home to. “Spill.”
The four other women exchanged uncomfortable looks before Tandy was silently nominated to speak. “You can’t take it personally. Everyone here knows which states are not in the running to win. You remember how it is. We get cliquey… competitive.” That flashy smile wasn’t as nice now. “Iowa is more or less disqualified after that bribery disaster. You were brought in to pad out the party. Too last minute to have a realchance, you know? Even though you check off the blond hair and big bosom that should have most of us quaking in our hosiery.”
“And you’re in a gay marriage,” Georgia said. “That’s really trendy right now. A pretty femme from the Midwest who is married to an Asian woman. Damn. Too bad you two didn’t adopt twenty kids and single-handedly rebuild a church destroyed by a tornado.”
Mrs. Arkansas put down her phone. “You don’t even live in Iowa,” she said. “I looked you up. Girl’s a Yankee now.”
Caitlyn scoffed. “I was told that owning property and living there for the month before was enough to let me in. Don’t worry.” She stood up with her empty paper plate. “I know I’m not in the running. I just really missed the whole pageant life, you know.” She turned around.Catty bitches and all.“Thanks for letting me sit with you, ladies. Good luck to you.”
That was the problem with Caitlyn, former beauty queen and current imposter in the pageant: she actually meant it.
Against her better instinct, she brought this interaction up with Izzy while they were waiting for the makeup artist to get to Caitlyn for the evening wear portion of the preliminary.I am so, so tired already.Caitlyn applied some eyedrops while attempting tonotstare at the bright lights of the vanity in front of her. Her emerald green evening gown with silver crystals rattled every time she moved her arms.
Izzy studied Caitlyn’s reflection before saying what was already known to be true. “Youdoknow you’re not going to win, right, Cait?”
She sniffed, fidgeting with her wedding ring. “I am not an idiot, Iz. As nice as it would be to get the validation of winningmy first major pageant back from retirement, the odds are greatly stacked against me.” Caitlyn glanced at her and Izzy’s reflection in the brightly-lit mirror. “This is vanity. Not a chance in hell.”
Izzy patted her on the shoulder. “You’re earning a lot of good will being here, though. I’ve been eavesdropping on the producers and asking around. People are grateful you stepped up even though you’re intelligent enough to know your odds are fantastically low.”
“Uh-huh. Iz…” Caitlyn stopped fidgeting long enough to suck in her cheeks and contemplate the back of her eyelids. “Do I have a chance of making the topten?”
Her coach grinned. “There’s always a good chance for that.”
“Top five?”
“Don’t get too excited. Have you seen the profiles for Massachusetts, Alaska, and Tennessee? You’re gay, smart, and fit most feminine beauty standards, but you’re not a mother who fights against injustice and to raise the profile of their Native tribes.”
“Same as ever, Iz.”
“The game has really changed since you were snatching wigs and crowns, Cait. I will say, you are one of the only ones here married to a woman. I think the only other one is… wait. No, Vermont is divorced from a woman but married to a man now. You’re the only one.”
“But not a mother.”
“To be fair, neither is California, and they’re always a shoo-in for top ten.”
“Numbers game,” Caitlyn recited from her original days of pageantry. The competition was fierce in the Midwest, Iowa included, but the odds were nothing if Caitlyn compared it toCalifornia.There was a reason the first profiles she always downloaded from national competitions were from California,Texas, and New York. Those representatives had beaten out a score of other highly qualified candidates. Illinois, Florida, and Georgia were three others Caitlyn always took as serious competition.
Iowa did not often make major plays on the national stage.