Page 79 of Menage a Passions
“It’s fine.” It took Caitlyn a moment to realize why petite Mrs. Kansas was dressed in a ballgown. “Are you Glenda the Good Witch?”
Kansas’s cheeks were pinker than her dress. “Yeah. It was my kids’ idea. They love theWizard of Oz.” Suddenly, she grinned. “I don’t have a snowball’s chance in Texas of making it past the big walk, so I wanted my girls to have something fun to see on TV. They’re watching at home with my parents.”
“How exciting for them.”
“You got kids waiting to watch you walk?”
Caitlyn shook her head. “Just my mother.” She paused a single beat. “And my partners.”
“Partners?”
“I’m sure if I make it to the interview portion you’ll hear all about it.”
A producer used a megaphone to yell instructions as the countdown to live began. Caitlyn faced forward, posture perfect and the softest version of her pageant smile tickling her face as she prepared to go out there on autopilot.
A roar of applause announced the start of the live show before the producer motioned for Mrs. Alabama to begin the great walk. Although the announcer’s voice was muffled behind the stage, Caitlyn still clearly heard,“Mrs. Alabaaaaama!”followed by“Mrs. Alassssska!”
“You are beautiful.” Caitlyn whispered that to herself as she was prompted to take small steps forward. “You are smart. You are worthy of being here.”
Her thoughts were interrupted by Kansas behind her.
“I’m coming, girls!” The pink fabric swished against the floor – and against the back of Caitlyn’s butt – as Mrs. Kansas shuffled forward in two ruby red shoes. “Get ready for Mama! Get ready, Shawnee!”
Her excitement was infectious. So much so that by the time the announcer called,“Mrs. Iooowaaaa!”Caitlyn’s grin had changed so she looked like she was laughing at some cosmic joke instead of falling back on the smile she spent hundreds of hours practicing in front of her childhood mirror.
These pageants were simple in the end. After the great walk of states came the announcement of the top ten semi-finalists, the women who would go on to participate in the live portion of the show.The portion we really train for.Pageantry washalf knowing how to walk, smile, and answer questions, half mastering the demon that was stage fright.
Caitlyn considered herself free from stage fright. Yet the moment she walked out onto the stage, the bright stage lights blinding her from seeing anyone beyond the host standing to her side, she wonderedwhat the hell she was doing here.
But there wasn’t time for such self-destructive thoughts, was there? Caitlyn was here. She was committed. She took her space on the stage next to Mrs. Indiana while interest turned to Mrs. Kansas and her attention-grabbing getup. Everyone, including Caitlyn’s own family, had forgotten about her already.At least she’ll grab the “show-stopping looks” listicles tomorrow.Caitlyn preferred to stay off those. Her goal was to be memorable to one grouponly:the judges.
She couldn’t help but wonder what her family thought right now, though. Were they proud of her? Astounded by her look, that half of them had helped put together? Thinking that this was the craziest thing ever, and they couldn’t wait for it to be over? Would Cecelia laugh about this with her friends back in Hong Kong, using it as an example ofAmericans Gone Nuts?
Lord, it was hot on that stage. Why had Izzy convinced her to wear her hair down? The back of her neck was sweating like a sinner in church.
Poised. Pleasant. Presentable.She recited those words to help her maintain her stance and the soft smile on her face. The rest of the contestants filtered in until Mrs. Wyoming rounded out the collection with an uproarious round of applause from the live audience. Everyone was stoked to go to commercial.
“Back in sixty,” said a producer over the stage stereo. “Great job, ladies. Please proceed to the stairs.”
As someone in the middle of the pack, Caitlyn battled half the set of steps behind her. Her kitten heels weren’t the problem – she was used to climbing stairs inthose.It was the bottom ofher dress, constantly attempting to get beneath her foot as she ascended the side of the bleachers, looking for her spot in the blinding light. When they rehearsed this that morning, she had been wearing a sundress that stopped beneath the knees.
The back half of the line was still filing into position when they returned from the commercial break. The producer assured them that the camera would not be on them until they were finished, which gave Caitlyn a moment to adjust her stance and wave to the B-roll camera sliding past her to collect extra footage to be used later.
Mrs. Kansas created a large heart with her hands as the camera went by.Is there a Mrs. Congeniality award here? Because she’s gotthatin the bag.
“Welcome back, America!” the male host boomed into his mic once the cameras were live again. “Tonight, we will be crowning your nextMrs.United States of America! Who will it be? First, we must determine who of these fifty beautiful women have made it to the top ten! To be announced… now!”
The stage lights shifted into an array of colors and intensities as Caitlyn maintained her demeanor despite the blinding headache it caused. Beside her, Mrs. Kansas whimpered, hand held up to her eyes.
This was always the most agonizing part of these programs. Caitlyn could get through the preliminaries without breaking a sweat. Once she was in the top ten, she coasted on that high to carry her through to the top five, then to the win. Or runner-up, as happened to her more times than she could count in her pageant career.At least that resulted in me becoming the winner once.Such a rare occurrence!
But this?Thispart? The absolute worst.
The host was already announcing the top ten.
“Mrs.New Mexicooooo!”
Caitlyn lightly clapped with everyone else as the woman in a long-sleeved black gown and purple cloak that looked like the desert night sky stepped down from the bleachers. She barely had time to take it in before the next name was announced.