Page 85 of Menage a Passions
The host was chastised for waiting to announce the last finalist. When he bellowed for Iowa to step forward, nobody clapped harder than Jane.
That’s my girl.She was always happy to watch her wife succeed.
Chapter 21
Caitlyn
She did not think she would make it this far.The top five…That meant she had a shot. A real shot. While top ten was a realistic goal for someone like Caitlyn, who had all of the experience while still staying on top of most of her beauty regimens after all these years, she never, ever thought she’d make the top five alongside Alaska, New York, Ohio… and Kansas.
“It’s happening…” The petite mother of two from Shawnee, Kansas searched for her breath while the five finalists changed into their backup pieces of eveningwear backstage. Izzy fussed with Caitlyn’s dress and barked orders at their stylist, but all Caitlyn heard was Mrs. Kansas’s echoing heart and thin breaths as she vainly attempted to ground herself. “Ooooh, boy. Ohboyohboy. I didn’t think I’d make it this far.” She turned to Caitlyn, who offered her a look of contentment. “Did you think you’d make it this far?”
“Ah, well, of course, I hoped I would…”
“I even blundered my talent! I was supposed to do a pirouette at that part inJack & Diane,but I did a somersault instead! Stupid, stupid!”
“Is that what that song was?”
Kansas wasn’t listening. “It’s about my husband and me, you know? We were high school sweethearts. He played football…”
“Is his name Jack?”
“John.”
“Close enough.”
“And you know my name is Diane.”
Caitlyn almost got mascara right in the eye when she whipped her head toward Kansas. “No way.”
“Yes! Didn’t I introduce myself? Oh, I amsosorry, where are my manners?” Diane shoved her hand between their chairs, much to the consternation of her stylist. “Diane Ridgeback. My husband goes by Johnny Ridgeback.”
Caitlyn put in the effort to shake Diane’s hand. “That’s… definitely a heartland name.”
“Which is where we grew up!”
“Me too, kid.”
Caitlyn was finished first and urged to head backstage, where she had a front row seat to a trendy country star performing to the live audience.Oh, man, Jane is hating this.Jane had to be drunk to handle country music from any time period. It was why she was always the first one putting back beers whenever Caitlyn dragged her to an Iowan bar.
Everyone was lined up to take the stage by the time the song ended. They had to wait for the stagehands to put everything back for the final portion of the event, and Caitlyn swore she had never felt so much sweat before in her life.
“Suppose this is the part where I congratulate everyone on making it to the finals,” Tandy from Ohio said, her gaze lingeringon Caitlyn in front of her even when she addressed everyone else. “Whoever wins today is truly a lucky woman, but I think it’s safe to say that making it this far is a big boost to the soul.”
“Oh, man…” Diane slightly whined. “I made it to thefinals.”
“Is there a problem with that?” Mrs. Alaska asked her. “You’re supposed to be excited.”
“Ah, well… I mean…” Diane perked up when a producer came by to tell them they had thirty seconds before they were due onstage. “It’s just that nobody thought I’d make it this far. I was only excited to be on TV for my girls. The oldest one, Lily, she had a cleft palate when she was born and she’s only seven butreallyinsecure about how she looks. I told her that if her big dumb mama can make it to all the way to nationals, then it shows that any woman at any age can do it, you know?”
“A kid with a cleft palette?” That was all Tandy had heard. “Damn. I gotta get me one of those for next year.” She poked Caitlyn. “How do we compete with a kid with a cleft palate?”
Caitlyn shrugged, the producer beside her counting down from ten. “You tell me. I’m not going to win, remember? I’m a fill-in from New England.”
The producer didn’t give Tandy a chance to respond. Everyone marched out onto the stage with Caitlyn in front, the long length of her ballgown swishing against the waxed floor as she smiled into the bright lights and hoped she had enough rouge on her cheeks to keep from washing out on TV.
The host announced that there was one last thing to judge, the thing that would determine the title of Mrs. United States of America. A question. Just one final question, the same one asked to all five women standing together on the stage with only a light shining on them.
“What does your spouse mean to you?”