Page 80 of Beyond the Rules

I had to breathe through the tightness squeezing my chest. I had a hard time envisioning a future where the guys were absent from my life, but I had to stick to reality, even if reality hurt like hell in the pit of my stomach. Hashtagmy futuresucks.

I forced myself to visualize that future. With Dimayev in prison, it would be back to San Francisco, reparations, virtual reality. Or I could take up Josh Lane on his offer and go to Boston to work for him. Inasmuch as I needed and appreciated the opportunity, the thought of leaving Montana made me want to break downandcry.

I’d always known there wasn’t a tomorrow for me here. A sexual adventure was one thing, but I couldn’t expect the guys would want me to stay forever. There was no way we could work out for the long term. I wondered what Zar would think of all of this. He was never afraid to tell it like it is. He probably had a transition plan for me already in place somewhere inhishead.

Zar. I closed my eyes and prayed. I wondered if he was safe. I reached over and grabbed my cell from the night table. Nothing from him. I let out a long sigh. I wasn’t going to be able to find any peace of mind until he came backsafely.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. An hour passed, maybe two. Eventually, my full bladder persuaded me togetup.

Tanner lifted his head from the pillow and blinked sleep from his eyes. “Where are yougoing?”

“Bathroom,” I whispered, slipping on my green silk mini-robe and stuffing my toes into my slippers. “I’ll berightback.”

I tiptoed out of the room, made my way to the bathroom and took care of my business. Since I was in the right place, I cleaned up as well. It was only after I was done that I noticed the mirrors were fogged up. I peeked into the row of showers. Fresh bubbles gathered around the drain. My pulse tripped. Coulditbe?

I scurried out of the bathroom and looked in Zar’s room. He wasn’t there. His room was in the same exact immaculate order he’d left it, except for the cammo duffel he’d carried out a week ago. It was abandoned by the closet. This time, my heart did a completesomersault.

I stole down the stairs and checked the kitchen, the living room, the rec room and even the door to the bunker. Zar wasn’t there. Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. I trotted up the stairs, went into the huge garage and knuckled my eyes. Zar’s truck was parked in itsusualspot.

“Nina?” Tanner stood at the threshold, wearing only his black boxers. His chiseled stomach and gorgeous biceps flexed as he braced on his crutches, green eyes studying meintently.

“What’s up?” Aiden came up behind Tanner, knuckling his sleep-narrowed eyes, sweats hanging low on his hips, hair spilling to frame his wide shoulders, right cheek imprinted with the folds of hispillowcase.

“Zar’s back.” I turned slowly around, looking for more clues as to his current whereabouts. “His truck is here. But I can’tfindhim.”

“Did you try the shop?”Tannersaid.

“The shop?” No, it hadn’t occurred to me that Zar would be at the shop in the middle of the night after returning from what had to have been a gruelingmission.

“Sometimes, it takes a while to transition out of a mission mindset,” Tanneroffered.

Aiden’s nod of agreement shook the soft curls framinghisface.

My gaze shifted to the door. I suppressed the urge to run out like a mad woman. At the same time, I fought the nerves quickening my pulse. Maybe Zar had changed his mind about us. Maybe he just wanted to bealone…

Tanner flashed his knowing smile. “Getgoing,girl.”

Aiden’s lips mirrored Tanner’s encouraging grin. “Yeah,go.”

“Are you guys sure he’d want toseeme?”

“Oh, yeah.” Aiden let out an amused snort. “He wants toseeyou.”

“The sooner, the better.” Tanner’s eyes gleamed withcertainty.

I fisted and unfisted my hands, gathering my courage. Then I rushed forward and, standing on the tip of my toes, planted a kiss on Tanner’s lips. “Wishmeluck?”

“You don’t need luck.” He gathered my hands and kissed myknuckles.

“You’ve got us.” Aiden enfolded me in his arms before he let go and pointed me in the direction ofthedoor.

“Okay.” I gulped. “I’mgoing.”

I marched out the garage’s side door. The night welcomed me with a chilling embrace. Wearing only my flimsy robe and slippers, I wasn’t really dressed to be outdoors, but I didn’t care, because I spotted a flash of light in the workshop across the way. I looked back to see Tanner and Aiden, standing under the security light by the garage. Having them at my back gave me the last push I needed. I hurried across the courtyard and down the pathway that led to the workshop, to the unknown,toZar.

Chapter22

Nina