Page 82 of Beyond the Rules
I swallowed a dry gulp and braced for impact. It was too late. I’d lost my chance and he was going to sendmeoff.
“I understand.” I blinked off the tears. “No big deal. I can go if you don’twantme.”
“What?” He blinked too, hard, trying to dispel the confusion that etched his forehead and tensed his mouth. “No, wait. What are you talking about? Of course Iwantyou!”
“Youdo?”
“Hell,yeah.”
Okay. All right.Breathe Nina. Don’tpassout.
Zar placed his hand on my shoulders and gently shook me. “Are youwithme?”
“Yeah, sure,” I was with him, reeling from the fright, butbreathing.
“I need to say this.” His Adam’s apple rippled in his throat several times before he continued. “I’ve decided that… It’s okay if you… Fuck, I’ll just say it. If you don’t wanna be my sub, I’m okay with that. I’ll be vanilla if that’s what you prefer. I’ll be whateveryouneed.”
My heart seized.Hewanted to pleaseme. He was willing to change for my sake. I was speechless. Shocked. Stunned. Balthazar Flint wanted to hackmyhappy.
“It’s whatever you want,” he repeated. “It’s however you want it. I just want to be with you. All day long, you fill the space in my mind. All night long, you rule my dreams. In all my life, you’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted like this. It’s however you’ll have me, Nina, because…” He paused and stared into my eyes. “I’m alreadyyours.”
The joy. It was almost too much. The hope. It burned in my eyes in the form of tears that spilled down my cheeks and flavored my lips with my salt. This was Zar at his best, the man I’d discovered beyond the mask, the warrior I’d trusted with my life. And he was willing to set aside his own needs and wants to meet me on my own terms, whatever they might be. I knew this wasn’t love. It couldn’t be. After all, we were talking about me. But boy, whatever this was, it felt…amazing. I was elated. For as long as I lived, I was never going to forget thismoment.
I lifted on the tip of my toes and kissed him, a slow kiss that had me sharing his breath, melting into him under his passion’s intense heat. His arms came around me and pulled me against his body as if we could be one person in his embrace. His offer moved me, shifted my inner plates and cracked my soul wide open. I knew how hard it was for Zar to give up on his needs, how difficult it had to be for him to relinquish control, to give ittome.
But after all this time, I knew what I wanted: Zar, the man I’d come to appreciate, the person who I’d discovered beneath his armor, the forbidden pleasures his body promised mine. I didn’t want an amended, repressed, or diminished version of Zar, a sanitized edition, or a shadow of who he really was. I wanted him, the full on warrior, his strength, his intensity, his obsessions—theunabridgedZar.
I also knew what Zar needed from me. Trust, absolute and complete. I wanted to give it to him in a way he could accept. I had no idea how submission would feel to me, but for him, I was willingtotry.
I backed away from Zar and stepped out of my slippers. The cold concrete floor sent chills up the soles of my feet as I grappled with my robe’s belt. My fingers were shaking, but I managed to untie the knot. The robe parted. Zar’s fluid stare moved up and down my body, lingering over the triangle between my legs, his gaze washing over me with an intensity that had my clit hardening and my pussy buzzing withanticipation.
“I want you,” I said. “You, the wholeofyou.”
The corner of his eyes crinkled as his stare narrowed on me. “Areyousure?”
“I’m sure,” I said, my pulse drumming in my ears. “I want to beyoursub.”
The bulk straining the crotch of Zar’s jeans shocked and delighted me. The sight left me shuddering with lust. I knew that what was coming wouldn’t be easy for me or my body, but God, I wanted this,him,all of him, his perfection, his imperfections, his raw sexuality. I pushed the robe over my shoulders and let it slide down my arms, catching the fluttering silk at the lastmoment.
I bent slightly forward and offered him the robe. He inclined his head and accepted it from my hands. The whole exchange felt a lot like a sacred ritual. As he took the robe from me, the tips of his fingers brushed against my skin, sending jolts of desire up my arms and down my spine, making me long for more of his touch. I glanced at him and found him looking at me with an expectantgleam.
“Will you please fuck me?” I murmured, voicetrembling.
“A simple, quick fuck?” He pressed his lips together and shook his head as in disbelief. “Is that all you wantfromme?”
Nothing I wanted from Zar was quick. Or simple. Everything I needed from Zar was complicated. But for the moment, my complex emotions needed to be distilled into something concrete and immediate, something I couldhandle.
“Take me, please, completely,” I said. “I want topleaseyou.”
The want on his face turned feral. The hunger in his eyes crashed over me like a tidal surge. The heat in his gaze fired my body and liquefied my pussy, igniting myhottestfire.
“On your knees,” he commanded with a low rumble that vibrated through my body, bent my legs and had me stooping on the floor. “Eyesonme.”
He looked so tall and strong standing above me, his wide chest bare and powerful, his taut stomach tapering into the sexy lines of his blue jeans, his feet braced apart directly in front of me. My heart beat loudly in my ears. If a girl had to have a Dom, then I’d lucked out. My Dom was…splendid.
“Play with yourself,” he said quietly. “Let me see you touch yourbreasts.”
My arms weighed a ton each as I lifted my hands and brushed them over my torso, slowly caressing my breasts, sending legions of goosebumps racing over my skin to converge at the crux betweenmylegs.