Page 64 of The Love We Make

“How are you so hard while you sleep?” I asked, giggling a little.

“I was dreaming I was fucking you on the pitcher’s mound.”

I laughed louder that time. “What was doing it for you? Me or the mound?”

“Both,” he huffed into the back of my neck.

“Ethan?” I asked again, getting his attention.

“Yeah?”

Instead of asking him, I reached behind me and grabbed onto the hardness that was pressing into me. I angled my ass up a bit so he was right at my entrance. I hoped, without words, that he knew what I wanted. That he wouldn’t make me say it.

He hummed in satisfaction as I lined him up and without saying a word, he pushed forward. I brought my arm back in front of me and grabbed his hand, the one around my waist. I interlocked our fingers and squeezed.

His other arm was under my neck, where it had been all night. He adjusted a little and used that hand to grab my hair and gently pulled my head to face him the best I could. When I was as far as I could go, his lips found mine. The kiss wasn’t invasive or rough. It was perfect. The exact tempo to match the movement of his hips.

Tomorrow morning—this morning—when we woke up, we had to go back to reality. I wouldn’t see him for a month. We would no longer be friends that made love. Just back to being best friends.

It was my rules and conditions. It was the way it was supposed to be. But I underestimated myself. I made these rules and made losing my virginity my sole mission. However, I did not think for anything that I would fall into something I wouldn’t be able to leave. And now, after just two days of being connected to Ethan on this level, I learned how wrong I was. How hard it was going to be to say goodbye; to him and the love we made there in that room.

And make no mistake, I learned the difference in making love and fucking. Last night, against the window, that was fucking. That morning, after I made it to third base with him, that was fucking.

This?

This was making love.

So slow and gentle. So caring and meaningful.

This was most likely the last time we would be together. I wanted it to be slow. I wanted it to last forever.

Ethan had broken our kiss and had buried his head into the back of my neck. He moaned and I felt the hair on my neck raise from the vibration of his lips. I started to feel myself tip over the edge. But I wasn’t ready.

I wanted to wait for him, for us to come together.

So with one hand, I placed it on his thigh and slowed him down, silently begging him to give me a minute. Once I had myself back under control, I moved into him, leading the motion of our bodies. He welcomed the reprieve and stayed still, letting me rock into him as he took whatever I gave him, at my own pace.

But again, I quickly started teetering on the edge, causing me to slow down again.

“Are you trying to kill me?” He asked in a low, gruff voice.

“No, I am trying to wait for you.”

I felt his scoff on my neck, “Take me over with you, baby. One squeeze from that pussy and I won’t be able to hold back, either.”

He reached around and took his hand to my clit, gently stroking me from all angles. I started working at my own pace again, knowing that when I finally allowed myself to come, I would be in danger of blacking out from euphoria.

Finally, after a few more pushes back into him, he met me halfway and pumped into me from behind. I was no longer in control of my orgasm and he took it, just like that. I turned my head into his arm that I was resting on and moaned his name over and over.

His movements got jerky as he took his hand from my clit and held onto my waist for support. When he finally stopped moving, neither one of us got up. We laid there, him inside of me and me on his arm. He had started making slow circles around my thighs as he drew unintelligible pictures with his finger.

And then he stopped.

“Go back to sleep,” he whispered. “I’m not moving. I’m not pulling out of you. I am going to stay right here inside of you until our time is up.”

I didn’t want to go to sleep. I wanted to lie awake just like that so our time didn’t go by so fast—the way sleep tended to make it do. But ultimately, I succumbed to the exhaustion and comfort.

I fell asleep with Ethan softening inside of me and his lips pressed to the back of my neck. All I had was one question replaying in my mind.