Page 75 of The Love We Make

“Hey,” Eddie called to me as I tied my shoes with my foot on the stool of my locker. “We are taking Ubers to 678. You in?”

“Oh yeah, I am in.” I finished tying my shoe and stood upright to face Eddie. “And no matter what I say, don’t let me pussy out. I need this. I need out of my head. I need a quick fuck in the damn bathroom or a blow job on the rooftop.”

Eddie looked at me like I had issued a bit too much information. But his follow-up smile threw me off.

“I mean it, Eddie,” I pointed at him. “It is your job to remind me what the mission is.”

“Ok,” he held up two hands in surrender, his smile falling. “I will make sure you get dibs and anything you need to fuck Madison out of your system.”

The fuck? Was he in my head?

“It’s not Madison,” I yelled. Did he not remember my locker shove? How adamant I was that Madison wasn’t the issue? Did he not realize that was a sore spot for me?

Or did he not believe me?

Fuck him. I was more determined than ever to see this night through. I stalked past him and out to the area where the guys were waiting on rides. I played on my phone to avoid talking to anyone. I wanted a few shots before I tried being social.

It wasn’t long before the cars showed up and we were passing the security of 678 like we were royalty. They ushered us into a roped-off area that was meant to keep other patrons away so we could enjoy the evening without being bombarded with fans.

The VIP area, as they called it, sat a few steps above the rest of the crowd and had an awesome view of the stage and dance floor. It didn’t look set up for a band so I knew we would be getting their eclectic mix of music all night. Anything from rap to country was played in 678.

I settled into a stool at the high-top tables and ordered a shot of whiskey. I wasn’t getting drunk, but I would be damned if I was staying dry. I needed just enough to knock off the “asshole” I felt riding on my shoulders.

It didn’t take long, either.

The warmth of the whiskey eased into my veins and before I knew it, I was back to having a good time with my friends. Laughing. Joking. Something I didn’t feel capable of before we started the night.

Even Eddie was laying off giving me shit and seemed happy I was relaxing into the night. I had an actual smile on my face for the first time in two weeks.

Things were looking up. I was feeling loose.

Then, right when I was getting ready to order another drink, I glanced down to the dance floor and my fucking night was over.

Madison was there.

In the bar.

Dancing.

I knew she came here with her friends but she didn’t come every Friday so the odds of her being here seemed slim. In fact, since the team came here so often as well, it didn’t even dawn on me she would be here. I had just been going with the flow, with the team.

Now, the whiskey I was about to order didn’t seem like a good idea. I didn’t want to lower my inhibitions or risk getting uncontrollable. It took a lot to get me drunk but I was not fucking risking it with Madison here. She made me drunk enough just being close to her.

I tried, for a second I swear, I tried. To look at her and see her as my best friend. That is what I agreed to do. That is what she wanted me to do. But now that I knew what it felt like to be inside of her, I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to go back.

I could be 60 years old, married to someone else, with grown-ass kids, having breakfast on a back porch somewhere, with her and her husband across the table from me and I would still remember what she tasted like. I would still want to fuck her. I would still want to make love to her.

I couldn’t see this need stopping.

But it had to. I would make it.

“We had you, then we lost you,” Eddie said behind me while I eyed the dance floor. I schooled my face to indifference, knowing he would be able to see how fucked I was if I didn’t.

“Nah, I’m still here,” I shrugged.

I ordered that other shot and tried not to eye the dance floor. I kept conversation with the guys and offered my two cents when I felt it was heeded.

But eventually, I caved, and when my eyes found Madison on the dance floor again, I froze. A guy was sliding up behind her and grabbing her hips. She looked around, her eyes wide and a bit of fear glazed in them.