Page 83 of The Love We Make

“Everyone told me to watch out for you. At first, I thought they meant physically. Like you would try knocking my teeth in or some shit.” I turned to him, confusion taking over. “But now I know they meant likethis. Kinda glad I figured it out night one.” He laughed and shook his head.

“Like what?” I asked.

“This,” he repeated, keeping me confused. “She belongs to you. I saw it on her face the second you came up behind her. She didn’t even have to look to know it was you.”

I scoffed, “We are just friends. You get like that after a lifetime of friendship.”

“Yeah, sure buddy,” he said patronizingly. “As I said, I am just glad I found out night one instead of night four. By night four, I would have probably been falling for her, too.”

I wanted to kill him for even suggesting he could care about Madison the same way I did, but he only laughed again when he saw the change in my features. Like he knew his words struck a chord. I wouldn’t give him any more satisfaction by reacting.

Instead, I saw my Uber drive up and I left him without another word.

???

Monday rolled around and I was still amped to pitch. It was a home game and even though I secretly wished Madison was at the game, I took a little pride knowing she would at least be watching.

At least, I hoped she would be. She had confessed to watching the games since the All-star break but now that we had fucked again in the bathroom, who knows what was going on in that head of hers.

What I did know, was that the anger of her silence was still present in my veins. And just as I suspected, I took the anger out on the other team. I pitched as well as I did against Arizona, if not better. My name was back in the hat for the Cy Young award, the announcers were singing my praise, my team was happy to have me back.

But still, Madison never texted or acknowledged me.

And I was fine. I was ok.

Because despite how bad I wanted her, I had to be ok with being her friend. I had to keep being her best friend. Being her best friend had made me happy my entire life, why should that change now?

Being her friend was better than being her nothing.

And if I kept up the way I had been—stalking her and then fucking her while she was on a date—she would eventually resent me.

I had lost all control on that dance floor with her. I had lost my fucking mind. I stayed in a constant state of “do I or don’t I?” I wanted to call her up and demand we make love until we were over it. The other part of me wanted everything back to normal as soon as possible.

With a few days left of our agreement, I had managed to get to the “back to normal” phase. Which was good, it meant I could see her with no problems the second the month was up.

I was clicking through the channels of the TV, laid up on my couch like I had no place to be. I was supposed to be at the field in a few hours, but I wasn’t on the docket to pitch and knew I could get away with a late showing. I may be fined, but so be it. I needed more time.

But when I scrolled to the national sports channel, I froze. And suddenly, all my problems didn’t seem so bad anymore. My heart plummeted, my eyes teared up, my soul crashed.

I felt around for my phone, my mind was not able to fully comprehend what I was seeing. I needed Madison. I needed her now.

But my hand and my heart were disconnected.

The TV kept on in the background.

“Twelve-year-old Benji Adams was struck and killed by a car in New York City. The driver of the car was arrested for manslaughter and driving under the influence. His mom said the accident happened just moments after he met his idol, Ethan Jones, where they took this picture together. This is now the last picture taken of Benji and one his mother will always cherish.

‘I wanted to reach out somehow, hoping this news makes it to Ethan Jones. I just want him to know how much that meeting at the diner meant to us. That was the last moment of Benji’s life, and I am thankful they were spent the way they were and thankful Ethan took the time to make my baby’s day. You just never know when your next breath will be your last.’

We reached out to Ethan’s agent but had yet to hear back by the time this story was scheduled to run. Benji was laid to rest last week in his hometown of Hudson, NY surrounded by family and friends.”

I couldn’t breathe.

I couldn’t fucking breathe.

Ben had died right after our meeting. I was still feeling around for my phone but could no longer see. The tears in my eyes were for a boy I had only met once. A boy that reminded me of... me.

A boy that never learned a slider.