Page 54 of Dirty Monsters

“This is my favorite morning,” Wren whispered, and despite myself, I laughed.

Still smiling, I glanced over to her and winked. “Mine too.”

It was so normal. Like we’d known each other for years, and I guess in a way, we had. Maybe we were finding our way back to each other but in a better light. She seemed to know now that even though I was still a monster, I was her monster, and it changed things.

It was coming up on another Sunday, and I had no desire to talk to Kane. I’d feel some sort of guilt over it. Guilt over not stopping him from hurting her. Guilt over knowing we kept in contact, and I hadn’t told Wren.

So maybe I won’t call him. Maybe I’ll put it off because I liked this little cocoon we’d created, and I didn’t want to ruffle it yet. I shook my head to rid my mind of my brother, and my eyes found Wren. She smiled at me, and for once, it wasn’t forced or sadistic. It was the smile of someone who could eventually break out of her shell.

A part of me wanted to gain her trust. To get deeper, connect with her so I could find out about all the questions plaguing my brain about what happened since I’d left. Did they still live in the same place? Did her father still have the same company?

We weren’t there yet, so I held my tongue, and instead, I reached down and entwined my fingers with hers. She lifted our hands and inspected them. “I kind of like this,” she admitted softly, and it brought a smile to my lips because honestly, I was feeling the same way.

Maybe this could work. Maybe if we could keep this a secret for a little while longer, we could see what happened once she left. Would she stay in Florida? I shook my head again. These dreams were crazy. We had a plan. She was mine until she left, and then she’d leave without a second look back.

Then why did my heart hate the idea of it? Why did I want to consume every part of her and brand my name so deeply into her mind she never let me slip from her memory?

I’d lost her once, and I didn’t want to lose her again. I’d spent my entire life resenting her for having us kicked out, but I was starting to think a part of my anger was because I missed her. Back then, my feelings for her were nothing more than brotherly love. I was not my brother. I never viewed her sexually back then. But I was protective of her, and I knew she was special.

It was all still true. More so, even. But now, all my feelings were grown-up feelings, and my intentions were not brotherly at all.

If losing her again was inevitable, I wanted to leave scars on her body so she would remember me. Remember the time we spent together.

She was mine.

Somehow, she’d made it to Florida, of all places.

My home.

And letting our guards down these past couple of days made me like having her here. But more than sex wasn’t in the cards for people like us, who held demons so close to our chests.

Her voice distracted me from my musings. “What’s next for the day?”

My eyes found hers again. “As the note said, it’s your choice. I’m only along for the ride today.”

“Can we stay here for a little while, hiding?”

I nodded. “Fuck yeah.”

Side by side in the sand, we stared up at the roof of the shack for a little while longer, the sound of our breathing being the only sounds we made. Outside, we could hear the waves crashing and the beach filling up with people as the day carried on.

“I have to meet Lisa at four,” she whispered, almost talking to herself.

“How are you feeling about it?”

I felt her shrug in the sand, our intertwined hands moving a little with the motion. “I hate those meetings, Ro. I hate being here, but the meetings, specifically, the most. Well…” She tugged my hand, and I was drawn into her chocolate brown eyes. “I used to hate everything.”

I smirked and shook my head at her. We were both certifiable for what we were doing.

“No one believes me when I say I’m not an addict.”

“Aren't you, though, babygirl?” I added the pet name, hoping to soften the blow of me countering her adamant conviction.

“No.” She sat up and hugged her knees to her chest before huffing. “I don’t know.”

“Just because you have a reason to chase the escape doesn’t mean you're not addicted to the method. Or even to the result. I mean, look at us, Wren. What is this to you? Am I another means to an escape?”

“It’s not all this is.”