Page 70 of Dirty Monsters

Not in the back of the car, but here.

Dedicated to one another. There was no more him and me, only an us. Two monsters who’d gone down fighting and come out alive on the other end.

He wasmymonster.

He’d been inside me. We’d breathed in each other's air. We knew each other intimately in a way no one else did. We started as siblings, then strangers, then fell into a hate for one another that threatened to bring us both down. Then when we finally stopped hating, we grew to be passionately amused with each other.

I inhaled sharply, electricity pouring through me in spades. We deserved each other. I pushed him away for too long, and now I couldn’t see myself giving him up. Even if I had to live in another part of rehab until I was released. I was staying in Florida, staying with Ro. I’d have to rent my own place, but it was worth it. He was worth it.

Through my daze, I see him glance at me from my periphery. When I turned to face him, his hand is creeping closer. It brushes ever so slowly against mine, and my core clenches. How can he elicit such reactions with a simple, innocent touch? Because nothing had ever been innocent with Ro, and I didn’t think it ever would be.

I loved him for showing his intentions. I let myself enjoy the feel of his hand as it slipped up my leg to the apex of my thighs, running gently between my legs. We were dealt the shittiest night we had ever faced, yet here we were in the back of his boss’s car. Dirty, sick, and twisted but heaven help me, I lived for it.

His fingers dipped below my suit and inside me, rubbing and soothing me as I fought the instinct to grind on his hand. I mouthed, “Harder,”to him, and a grin shined across his face. He didn’t say anything back, but he did as I requested. His speed increased as we caught sight of the parking lot. I was soaked at that point, so wet and needy from his pleasure I couldn’t bring myself to care about the wet sounds coming from between my legs. Ro did that to me.

He made me feel.

He brought me to life.

He gave me the highs I forever craved.

I inhaled, he exhaled, and we basked in our depravity, but I needed it. I needed him.

He was bringing me back to life.

I’d never again be a scared little girl.

He gave me the courage not to be the victim.

He promised me the world and a chance at happiness.

A future.

A wave of emotions was coming. I clamped down around his fingers as my body released in glorious bliss. I had come way harder than I should have, but just like every time we were together, it was relief that flooded through my veins.

This was our language. This was how I knew we would be okay. And pulling his hand from under my dress, moving his fingers to his mouth and licking them clean, was how I knew he felt the same way.

Ro had worked hard to get his job. He’d pulled himself out of the ditches and made something of his life. He was a nurse. A caregiver. I couldn’t light that up in flames, but I knew the consequences be damned, we were going to be okay.

I heard my name distantly as I came back to reality and realized the car had stopped and Mrs. Tessier was getting out. Ro glanced down at me. “You okay?” Concern twisting his features.

“Yeah, I will be.” I waited for Mrs. Tessier to close the door to the car. “I need you tonight, Ro. I can’t sleep alone. Not after everything that has happened.”

I could tell he was resisting the urge to kiss me and tell me it would be okay. Mrs. Tessier was watching, waiting for us to get out of the car.

“I’ll come to you.” He said it quietly, and I nodded. “I assume I’m about to get my ass chewed out, so it might be a little bit. Leave the door unlocked so I can crawl into bed with you.”It was the last thing he said before opening the door to his side of the car and getting out.

“Mr. Castle, a word in my office once Miss Carrington has returned to her room safely. Miss Carrington, I tried to call your parents on your behalf, but there was no answer at this late hour. We’ll be having a chat tomorrow, so rest up. It’s been a harrowing day for you.”

I smiled, but I didn’t mean it. I wanted her to leave us. I wanted to be alone. Or alone with Ro. I simply had to wait for him to come to me, as he said. I could wait, right?

I had no choice. I felt emotionally volatile, and I needed the comfort Ro provided to me.

Mrs. Tessier headed off toward her office, leaving Ro and me standing at the front entrance. I wanted to reach out and touch him. To have him hold me and tell me things wouldn’t fall apart again.

I was angry Kane had the upper hand, angry I couldn’t fight back against him. Pissed he took something from me that wasn’t his to take. I needed to brush my teeth and gargle some mouthwash. We walked upstairs to the second floor, and Ro’s fingertips brushed against mine with each step. I grabbed his pinky finger. It wasn’t enough contact, but it was better than none.

His gaze found mine, and he smiled, but it was weak and didn’t reach his eyes. The darkness he had lurking had faded, replaced with uncertainty. Was he worried about his job?