Page 30 of That Last Secret

The hairs on my arms stand at the way he carries his words. It reminds me of my conversation with Brooke after spring break. I haven’t been able to get it out of my head, but I haven’t seen him at work or run into him with my brothers.

I finally talked myself into thinking she was crazy for suggesting pursuing something. But I’m not going to read too much into this. This isn’t Logan having feelings for me. He’s just helping me out because my brothers aren’t available.

“While in the library, I was doing some practice questions and kept getting them all wrong.” I blink, trying to keep my emotions at bay. “And I guess I just lost it. Panic took over because I’m trying hard to do well on these finals. I… I couldn’t breathe, and my chest felt like an elephant was sitting on it. I just wanted to go home, but I was scared I’d send myself spiraling if I walked alone.”

None of that is a lie, but I keep out the part about me being downright exhausted from working nights and studying so much. The content seems to get harder and harder as we move on, and I’ve also barely slept the last two weeks. I know I should have stopped studying hours ago because of that. I’m smart enough to know my limits and that the brain can’t work without sleep.

It’s just… my brain wouldn’t let me stop.

“Put the helmet on,” Logan tells me, holding it out for me to grab.

“You just carry an extra around with you at all times?” I ask. “Who’s this for? I’m not wearing another girl’s helmet.”

I zip my lips together and wish I could take back the words as soon as I say them because I sound like a jealous teenager.

“No one has ever worn that helmet, Emiline,” Logan responds with a smirk playing on his lips.

I really want to ask why, but I think better of it and stop myself from embarrassing myself any further tonight. Besides, seeing a hint of a smile on his face makes me wantto get on the back with him.

Especially when he looks like this.

Logan on top of a motorcycle is lethal.

I can barely see any skin since he’s wearing a long-sleeved black shirt, but it hugs every muscular curve of his body as if he painted it on before he left the house tonight. And since when have I found jeans so attractive?

I shouldn’twantthis.

Why is Logan breaking down all my walls?

Before I can overthink that question, he adds, “As a matter of fact, I’ve never had a girl on the back of my bike before.”

The revelation jolts me back, but my feet remain grounded where they are. A part of me feels excitement over the fact that I’m the first. A small part also wishes I’d be the only girl ever on the back ofhisbike, but that’s not what this is.

My brother’s words from a few months ago replay in my mind and I quickly remind myself that I’m like a little sister to Logan.

That’s all I’ll ever be.

“Right,” I choke out, barely able to swallow down the lump in my throat. I finally grab the helmet from him with trembling hands, placing it on my head.

It fits perfectly as if it was made for me.

Brain, can we please stop thinking this is more than it is?

I lift the front visor, and my eyes meet his through its opening. I can’t see his lips since he also put his helmet back on. But a slight crinkle around his eyes tells me he’ssmiling under his helmet.

I reach up to buckle the straps, but my attempt fails quickly, and I can’t hide my shaky hands this time.

Logan dismounts the bike for the first time since he arrived. He stands almost a head taller than me as he brings himself right into my personal space.

“Let me,” he says.

Why is every single word out of this man’s mouth sohot?

Logan’s so close that his scent overpowers whatever weird smell is inside the helmet. He smells like a mix of cedar, soap, and gasoline, as if he’s been on his bike all day.

Even with the helmet masking so much of the light from his face, his eyes stand out more than ever before. He keeps them locked on mine, blindly buckling the straps under my chin. His knuckles brush my skin, and my body erupts from the featherlike touch. As if he can sense it, he averts his gaze to where he works under my chin.

I close my eyes and steady my breathing. Every inch of me feels like I’m sitting in the sun with him being so close.