Page 30 of Going for Two

“I’ll take one more of these,” I told the waiter as I lifted the shot glass up.

Once the second shot of tequila was gone, I pulled Olivia out of the booth and motioned for Maggie to detach herself from her boyfriend to come up with us. There were a few of theplayers’ wives on the dance floor, but for the most part there wasn’t much dancing happening tonight—just a large amount of alcohol being consumed as the celebration continued.

The only solution to quell the pressure building in my chest with being near Nolan tonight was to put some physical distance between the two of us. Olivia and Maggie must not have noticed anything unusual because the two threw their hands up in the air as they began to dance to the song that was pumping through the bar’s speakers.

I let myself get lost in the thumps of the bass notes as I laughed at Maggie’s poor attempt at twerking. Tommy was probably losing his mind trying not to walk over and throw her over his shoulder to haul her off the dance floor. My hands ran through my hair to lift it off my neck to cool myself off as I swayed my hips to the beat of the song. My eyes drifted closed as the pressure in my chest from Nolan finally eased enough for me to enjoy myself.

Three songs passed by before Olivia and Maggie left the dance floor to get another drink at the bar, leaving me alone. I didn’t mind though, because for the first time in months, I felt exhilarated by the energy around me. Just for tonight, I wanted to live in the moment. For once in my life, I didn’t even mind any of the eyes that I felt watching me as I enjoyed the warmth of the tequila buzzing through my body and a good song.

The next song was a slow jam with a deep bass and just as I began to twirl in a circle, a pair of hands slipped onto the curves of my hips with a strong assured grip, but light enough that I knew I could slip out of it if I wanted to.

I glanced over my shoulder to see brown wavy hair that was styled to perfection and a pair of intense brown eyes that held a fire in them that I had only ever seen once before, in the parking lot after the Cougars game.

There was a question in them as well, as if he were giving me the out to call him on the fact that this wasn’t very “friendly” of him. But instead of taking the obvious safe option—theappropriateoption—I only turned back around and let my body move to the sound of the music. Nolan’s fingertips dug into me the moment he realized I wasn’t going to kick his ass and I felt more secure than a football in a receiver’s arms.

I could feel the heat radiating from Nolan’s body as he pulled me flush to him. After the two of us settled into each other’s space his hands slipped around my hips and his fingers dipped under the hem of my tank top as they rested on the inch of exposed skin there from where it had ridden up while I danced. Before I could fully register what was happening, I felt his nose trail a path through my hair and toward the side of my jaw. Only the second it felt like Nolan had completely invaded all my space did I finally come to my senses to remember where we were and what we were doing in front of both the Cougars and the Bobcats.

The song came to an end, and I pulled myself out of his grip, ignoring the way my body noticed the absence of his warmth.

“I—” I turned to tell him that this was a mistake until I saw the look on his face. He looked drunk—and judging by the flush in his cheeks, his enlarged pupils, and the way his tongue darted out of his mouth to wet his lips when we made eye contact, it wasn’t from alcohol.

“I’m going to—” My brain was five steps behind my mouth as I tried to form a full sentence. Once I realized that wasn’t going to be possible while I was this close to him, I turned on my heel and darted off the dance floor toward the back hallway where the bathrooms were.

I let out a small breath when I realized most of the people that would have noticed us were too engrossed in their ownconversations or celebrations. But that didn’t mean we had gotten off scot-free. Just as I was about to slip into the hallway, I caught my sister’s eye from where she stood at the bar with Maggie and Derek. The twinkle in it told me I was going to be hearing about this later.

The women’s bathroom was completely empty when I walked inside, and I let out a sigh as I stood in front of one of the mirrors. I took in the natural red in my cheeks that made my eyes look even more clear blue and the flush that had also spread across my chest. My hair had gotten a little frizzy from all the dancing I had done. I should have recognized the girl in the mirror, but the girl I knew wouldn’t have done something as unprofessional as what had just happened on the dance floor between me and Nolan.

A knock on the door interrupted my mental breakdown. I assumed it was Olivia coming to corner me and I threw the door open, prepared to defend myself, only to have the words die on my lips.

Nolan pushed the door open wider and slipped around me. His movements were quick and sure as he turned the lock on the door. I suddenly felt like I was the prey that had been cornered by a predator.

In a flash his hands were back around my hips and before I could blink, I was sitting on the lip of the sink, and he was standing between my legs. He braced his hands on either side of the sink as he leaned in until our lips were nearly touching.

“I thought we were supposed to be just friends,” I heard myself tell him.

Nolan rested his forehead on my shoulder. “I don’t want to be friends, Lottie.”

I tried to ignore the way my heart dropped at his words.

“I tried keeping my distance from you and we both know that didn’t work,” Nolan continued. “I tried going back to the way things were, but that’s not working either. You are all I can think about. At practice, I’m keenly aware of where you are all the time. I go home after practice to my empty goddamn penthouse and wonder if you’re out on another date with some idiot that you could run circles around. I can’t take it, Lottie. I can’t just be your friend.”

The air felt like it had been sucked right out of my lungs as Nolan finally confirmed my suspicions that he was just as interested in me as I was in him.

Before I could say anything, Nolan pulled his head off my shoulder and looked at me with such torture in his eyes.

“You can tell me to stop,” he continued. “You can tell me to stop, and I’ll figure my shit out. We’ll go back to normal if that’s what you want.”

I realized that he was holding himself back from me. His knuckles were white from how hard he was gripping the sink next to me to try and stop himself from touching me. The two of us were well aware of what it meant if he did—a line of professionalism forever crossed. We’d be passing the point of no return.

But is that what you really want?

You’re chasing after living after devoting yourself to working all your life. Does he not make you feel alive?

My eyes flickered toward the door, wondering if I should walk out of it and never look back. I knew Nolan would keep his word. We’d go back to being partners in his therapy plan. My job would be safe. But the hesitation I had was from a question echoing inside my brain. One that I knew would remain even if I walked away right now.

What if?

I was tired of vicariously living through everyone else I encountered. It was time I stopped watching through the windows of everyone else’s lives and became the driver of my own. Because even if Nolan could walk away from this and let everything go back to normal, I wasn’t sure I could.