Page 20 of Claiming Demons
Then Reia asked, “Mom… what doyouwant?”
I blinked, spoon poised mid-dunk. “What?”
“What do you want?” she repeated. “Out of life. I… I get that you’re a goddess now, which is odd, but still, don’t goddesses want things? You’ve seemed different these past few weeks, like you’re really trying to figure yourself out, which is great. So, I was curious if you know what you want.”
Oh, my dear, darling girl, always being the adult in our relationship.
I smiled. “I love you, Reia. Thank you for noticing how I’ve been changing. As for what I want… I don’t know yet.”
I want more stunning sex with my gorgeous guys.
Yeah, I wasn’t going to say that out loud. But was there more beyond that…?
That reminded me of my little journal and my ‘I AM’ list.
“Oh! You want to help, Reia?” I asked, hopping up, and grabbing my little notebook from my purse. “You can help me figure out more about myself. Would you like that?”
She beamed. “Yes! What do you need?”
“I have this list of traits, but I’m trying to expand it to see if anything really sinks in. That might help me figure out what I want.”
I sat in the chair beside her, opened up my notebook, and read off my list. So far, it included: a mother, a lover, beautiful, charismatic, a helper (a bartender), a healer, a fighter for justice — oh… I’d forgotten I’d written that one down, it made a lot more sense now — but that was the end of my list. I quickly added:a warrior.
“Well, what do you think?” I asked Reia.
“You’re kind and gentle,” Reia said quickly. I jotted that down. “I don’t know if it’s the same as being… a lover—” she blushed furiously, “—but you have a large heart, Mom.”
“Thank you,” I said, noting that.
“Would you ever want to help the homeless or less fortunate?” Reia suggested.
“Maybe?” Honestly, that didn’t feel quite right for me. I was a bit too much of a prissy princess for that.
I gave a huff and reluctantly addedprissy princessto my list. Not everything on the list needed to be things I liked about myself. Still, there was something about the idea of helping the less fortunate.
“I…dowant to help people… and Iama goddess. Aren’t gods supposed to listen to their worshipers and answer prayers or something?” My mind made a leap, and suddenly I had an idea. “Oh, oh!” I said, clapping. “I want to help people with love… and maybe to have better sex. Because bad sex is just awful. Maybe I could be some sex guru or matchmaker. A love sage. Is that a thing?”
Reia was blushing again. “Uh… I wouldn’t know about the bad sex part.”
Without thinking, I said, “I’m pretty sure you’ve masturbated before. Isn’t it awful when you’re really horny but you can’t seem to get off?”
She stared at me wide-eyed and I blinked.
Yep… I’d just said that to my sixteen-year-old daughter.
Then her face went a deep crimson and her eyes grew comically wide. She swallowed hard, and a strangled sound escaped her lips.
“Ah… well… I guess if I was going to talk about that to anyone… youarea sex goddess, so you’d know, right?” she said, then hesitated.
Her mouth moved, but only breathy little sounds came out as she struggled with what she was trying to say. I stayed silent and let her have the space to figure it out.
Eventually, in a hushed voice, she asked, “What is good sex like?”
I beamed. Finally! My daughter had asked me about something I was an expert on.
“Well…” Thoughts of last night flashed through my mind… but that probably wasn’t realistic and if I was going to take this seriously, I needed to be careful not to go overboard and embarrass her too much. “What’s your favorite sweet, sinful dessert or food?”
If I knew my daughter at all, she’d say cheesecake. There was a vegan recipe she used which she swore was better than regular cheesecake.