Page 27 of Enticed
Clara
“Where are you headed at four on a Sunday?” Penny’s voice surprises me as I arrive at my car in the driveway.
“Why do you always do that—pipe up when people aren’t paying attention? You scared the shit out of me!” My hand rests over my heart, counting the beats to make sure I’m not in cardiac arrest as she makes her way down her porch steps and lands in front of me.
Penny swivels her neck, eyeing the ground around me. “I don’t see any shit,” her head pops back up and she flashes me a wink, her eyebrow ring flashing in the sun.
“Well, by the way my stomach is in knots right now, I’m surprised Ididn’tshit myself.”
“What’s got you all knotted up?” Penny questions, shielding her eyes from the rays beating down on us.
It’s only a few hours before the sun sets on this spring day and I’m headed to dinner at the Walsh’s—Cooper and Olivia’s parent’s house.
Growing up, some of my fondest memories are having dinner with that family—hell, I spent more time at their house than I did at my own. After I graduated high school and left for college, my parents moved to Florida to open another business as part of a plan to stay there for retirement. The sporting goods store they owned and operated in Emerson Falls was a staple in the town, and then they sold it when they moved.
My parents leaving didn’t really bother me as much as I thought it would, but I think a huge part of that was because I knew I still had the Walsh’s here when I returned. I studied advertising at Boise State on a partial athletic scholarship for volleyball and only returned to Emerson Falls over Thanksgiving Breaks to see my friends—and I always stayed at Olivia’s house.
“I’m off to Olivia’s parent’s house for dinner,” I answer, willing my anxiousness to subside.
“Will Cooper be there?” Penny asks, sniffing out the information she seeks.
I turn back to my car, opening the door to set my purse inside. “Probably…”
“Have you set a time for your date yet?” She prods from behind me, making me jump and spin at her knowledge.
“How did you know about that?”
Penny rolls her eyes at me. “Don’t insult me with your innocence, Clara. First off, the event was attended by more than half of the town, so gossip travels fast. Second of all, I had a sneaky suspicion you would bid on him anyway.”
“And why on Earth would I do that?” I rest my hand on my hip, fighting the urge to spill my true feelings. Instead, I’m choosing to hide beneath a pile of denial and self-loathing.
“You are far more transparent than you think you are, Clara. No more shittin’ me, okay? Are you gonna make a move for that man now, or not?”
My hand falls from my waist as I stand before her, meeting Penny’s glare with my own. I want to deny it. I want to tell her she’s crazy—that the “things” she thinks she sees between me and Cooper are all in her head.
But then I realize that she’s the only person who I can be completely honest with—the only person I know that I can bare my feelings to—and I know she’ll provide me with the guidance I’m in desperate need of. Why I didn’t surrender to this notion before now, I’m not sure. But at this point, I’m looking for help wherever I can get it.
I can’t talk to Perry or Amy about it, in fear that they’ll say something to Liv. And I sure as hell can’t talk to Olivia about it—she’d lose her shit. Plus, they all have so much going on in their lives, the last thing I want to do is throw my shit on the pile. History will provide evidence that I’m not one to really discuss my love life either—unless it’s how many orgasms a man gave me. I wouldn’t call myself a slut, but I sure as hell enjoy sex, and that’s something all of my friends know about me well.
I’ve never really been the relationship type either—so me trying to discuss the feelings I’m battling for my friend’s younger brother with said friend and our other two members of our group doesn’t equate to a stellar idea.
Staring at Penny, I admit defeat with a long exhale and then flick my eyes to the side of her.
“I’m scared to let myself give in to what I feel for him, Penny…”
“Why?” Her entire demeanor changes, her face softening as I open up.
“So many reasons. For starters, he’s Liv’s brother. The mess that could transpire if it got ugly could ruin my friendship with her and my relationship with her family. Then, the fact that Cooper is younger than me makes me feel icky for even thinking about him how I do—but you’ve seen him… he’s freaking gorgeous! But really…” I pause, afraid to give in to the fear… “I feel like I want more with him than just sex. I know it’s sounds crazy, Penny… but the night when he saved me—I feel like we’re connected because of it. I feel like he not only saved my life, but opened my eyes to this version of him I’d never seen before. He wasn’t just Twiggy anymore—he was this man with muscles and strength, with a tactical mind and a comforting presence. The boy I knew before transformed into this man—and I can’t stop thinking about him…”
Penny is silent—her lack of response unusual since she always has something to say. Her eyes move back and forth, bouncing between mine as the nerves in my body jump around haphazardly.
Shit! I never should have said anything. I read the situation entirely wrong. Fuck! Now Penny is going to think I’m even more messed up than I already feel. Or—what if she tells Cooper what I said and it freaks him out? Oh my God! What did I just do?
“Twiggy?” She finally says as my eyes try to pop out of my head. “Please tell me that’s not a nickname for his penis…”
I can’t help it—I bend over in a fit of laughter. Moisture leaks from my eyes as I struggle to breathe. Penny jiggles her head at me while she lets out a low chuckle, waiting for me to compose myself.
I swipe at the tears on my cheeks, letting the laughter subside naturally before I can speak again.