Page 45 of Devoted
I rest my hands on her shoulders while commanding her to look in my eyes. “You’re thinking too far into the future. It’s only been a few months, Rach. You still have around four months until Grayson starts Kindergarten, and you start school again. So much can change in that time. Take it one day at a time and just try to live in the moment.” If only I could be as confident in taking my own advice.
“You’re right. I know. I’m just so frustrated. But thanks. Hey…” She twists her head around me, searching the backyard for a moment. “Where’s Brooks?”
Joy manifests on my face as I locate him near the bar. “He’s over talking with Cooper, Kane, and Drew.”
“I’m gonna guess by the way your face is lit up like a Christmas tree that things are going well?”
“Things are incredible. But we haven’t yet… you know…” I bite my lip with worry, the nerves from earlier returning full force.
“Are you still fixed on your ‘curse’?” She throws her fingers up like quotations marks around the last word, courtesy of Joey from Friends.
“Laugh all you want, but what if it happens again?”
“Jess, you’ve got to get past this. What if you push this guy away over something silly like your alleged curse and you lose the love of your life? He’s not hesitating like Luke is. He’s interested and pursued you. Just do it.”
I take a deep breath, stand tall, and straighten my spine. “You’re right. I just need to have sex with him.” It comes out almost as if it is a hardship to endure, but I think I’m just getting tired of fighting it.
“Ugh. Apparently I’m the only one not getting any around here now,” she whines playfully as we watch Cash and Piper feed each other cake.
And just at that moment, Brooks comes up to us and hands me my glass of champagne. I take a sip and then leave Rachel with a few more encouraging words as I rest a hand on her shoulder. “You’ll get there. Just give it time.”
Brooks drags me away to the buffet line after we set our drinks down so we can get our food, the rumbling of my stomach reminding me that I should probably eat. “What was that about?”
“Oh, Luke is stringing Rachel along. I mean, I know their situation is complicated, but she has a massive crush on him and he’s fighting it.”
“Good thing your crush was pretty transparent with you, huh?” He whispers in my ear as we grab our white china plates and start to load them up with Italian goodness.
My eyes veer up to his as I answer. “Yes. I am lucky, Brooks. I know that, believe me.”
He shakes his head. “No, I’m the lucky one, Jess.”
We spend the rest of the evening drinking, dancing, and celebrating Cash and Piper. By the end of the night, we’re both sweaty from moving all over the dance floor even though the temperature of the air dropped considerably once the sun went down. Brooks offered to stay and help clean up as much as Birdie, Cash’s surrogate mom, would allow until she shooed us both away.
“So, is it time for me to take you home?” Brooks is holding my hand and guiding me to his car as we leave Cash and Piper’s house.
“If you wouldn’t mind. I rode here with Rachel this morning since this is where we all got ready.”
As he opens my door and helps me in my seat, he glances down at my lips and then grins. “I don’t mind at all.”
The ride to my house is quiet, a mixture of the sound of our breathing and the tires spinning beneath us the only thing that’s audible. It’s moments like these where I’m glad you can’t hear a person’s heartbeat outside of the body, because mine is drumming at a rock star’s pace.
I don’t know what Brooks’ expectations are for this evening, but I know that I don’t want him to leave just yet. However, I’m afraid of where things might lead and whether or not I should be honest with him about my reservations.
“I really like your place,” Brooks states as we make our way inside of my apartment. “I didn’t get a chance to tell you that when I picked you up for our date last week, but it’s warm and inviting.” He shucks off his jacket and lays it on the back of my couch.
My eyes veer around the living room decorated in lavender and grey. “Thank you. It’s small, but it’s just me. Are you thirsty?”
“Yes. Water would be great, please.”
I walk into the kitchen and locate two glasses from the cupboard, moving to the fridge next to fill them with water. We both take a few drinks as the silence from the car continues in my kitchen, both of us watching and waiting for the other person to make a move.
Brooks sets his glass down on my counter and then his eyes peer up at me from the low hang of his head, a fire burning beneath the meltiness of his brown irises.
My heart is pounding, my pulse racing as I watch him slowly rise and take a few long strides towards me. “Jess…”
“Brooks…”
“Do you want me, sweetheart?” His hands land on my hips and my voice gets stuck in my throat. But I do manage to nod.