Page 70 of Devoted
Chapter 21
Brooks
“Mom, Jess is gonna be here soon. Do you want something to drink really quick while I’m in the kitchen?”
She eyes me from the sofa, her pale brown eyes tracking my movements around the house. Even though the color has left her skin, I’ve never found her to be more beautiful, wrapped in a pink headscarf and matching blanket. My mother has taken the opportunity to accessorize her headwear since shaving her head, trying to find the slightest bit of pomp in her circumstance. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were nervous for me to meet this girl.”
Hell yeah, I’m nervous—not because I don’t think my mom won’t like Jess or the two of them won’t hit it off. No, I’m nervous because I don’t know how Jess might react when she sees my mother’s state and the memories it might bring up for her. I’m nervous because now that all of our secrets are out, I know without a doubt that I’m truly, madly, and deeply in love with this girl and want nothing more than for her to fit into my life seamlessly.
After Jess confessed the factors that lead to her mother’s death, she opened up to me more about her. Turns out our mothers are pretty much the same person, down to their love of butterflies and affliction for plants. She also told me that her tattoo is in memory of her mother, and I revealed that my mom has one as well. That tiny connection shocked us both. I wanted to tell her that in the heat of the moment, but I thought it better not to mention my mom when we were about to have sex.
But now she knows it all—my mother’s illness, my deepest fears, and how much she means to me. And now all I need is for her to see that she’s the future I want.
“I’m not nervous,” I deny while filling a cup of water from the fridge and bringing it to her anyway. “I just… fuck, I’m falling for her, Mom.”
She smiles up at me adoringly and then cups my cheek. “I’m so happy for you, Brooks. If she’s tamed your free spirit, she must be incredible. I can’t wait to meet her.”
“She is. I’ve got to finish a few things for dinner before everyone gets here, so let me know if you need anything.” I stand and kiss her cheek before returning to the kitchen to finish dicing the toppings. My mother actually had a craving for tacos, so I made sure to have all the fixings for her so she could enjoy a meal. Her appetite has been hit or miss, so she usually snacks rather than eats a heavy helping of food, but I’m hoping she’ll be able to enjoy this dinner with everyone tonight without getting sick.
A few moments later, my Aunt Liz and Ethan arrive with his girlfriend Mariah in tow. I figured for the sake of introductions, Jess should meet all of my family at once. Each of these people knows how much she’s grown to mean to me, so I want them all to witness the incredible strength she’s given me. Plus, it’s rare that we can all convene at the same time.
After we made love in the hotel room last week, we woke the next day and explored the town of Brookings, Oregon. As heavy as the topics were that we discussed the night prior, the rest of our trip seemed to be light-hearted and adventurous. We traveled to the tide pools nearby, sampled amazing food from several restaurants, did some shopping, which apparently Jess loves to do, and then devoured each other’s bodies the second we returned to the hotel room and long into the night.
The woman is addicting, as if I didn’t already know that before that weekend. But now that she’s given herself away to me completely, I know that I don’t want a day in my life without her in it. I’m in love with her—her spirit and heart, her timid nature that I love breaking down, the way she’s opened up to me in a way that she has for no other man.
Who would have known that I’d fall for a woman who not only understands my job, my thoughts, my fears—but knows what it’s like to be in my shoes right now with my mom? I’m dumbfounded, but oh so grateful.
“Can I put this cheesecake in the fridge?” Mariah strides into the kitchen holding a glass plate with a remarkable-looking dessert on it.
“Sure. You might have to move some things around, but it should fit.”
“It looks great, babe,” Ethan says before planting a kiss on her lips as she exits the kitchen. Then he turns to me after watching her walk away. “Hey, man. How’s it going?” He hands me a beer while leaning against the counter, a welcome bout of liquid courage I feel is warranted at this point.
“It’s going,” I answer before taking a sip and then returning to dicing onion and tomatoes.
“You nervous for this? It’s a big step.”
I bite my cheek, trying not to show my true feelings because my stomach is actually in knots. “Yes, and no. I know I want her to meet everyone, but I’m kind of afraid of how she’s going to feel seeing my mom.”
“Why would she be rattled by seeing your mom? She’s seen cancer patients at the hospital, I’m sure. And she knows about her now, right?”
I huff and then set down my knife. “This stays between you and me, okay? I mean, it’s not like a giant secret or something, but I don’t want Jess to feel like I’m telling everyone her business.”
Ethan nods. “You got it.”
“Her mom died from breast cancer.”
“Oh, fuck.” Ethan’s eyes go wide and then he takes a few large drinks from his beer. “Damn. When did you find this out?”
“Last week on our trip. I opened up to her about everything and then she told me she knew exactly what I was feeling. I was shocked and then felt so fucking bad for her. Not only does she know what I’m going through, but her circumstances turned out in the worst conceivable way.”
“And you think that her seeing Aunt Viv is going to bring all of those emotions back, don’t you?”
I lift up the knife again and point it in his direction. “Exactly.”
“Well, let’s hope she doesn’t freak out once she arrives. Let me know if there is anything I can do to make the evening run smoothly, alright?”
“I appreciate that. So how are things going with Mariah?” I direct the knife towards the living room now on the other side of the wall.