Page 85 of Devoted
Chapter 26
Brooks
I have three words sitting on the tip of my tongue and a ring burning a hole in my sock drawer for the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with.
The only problem is—that woman has recently started to avoid me.
After the dinner with my mom, I honestly felt like things between Jess and I were on the right track. I knew seeing my mother would stir up memories for her, but Jess assured me she was okay. They got along so well, and my mother told me with one-hundred percent confidence that she knew Jess was the one for me.
I felt high. Secure. Positive that things were serendipitously falling into place. We were great. Happy. Addicted to each other.
Until suddenly we weren’t.
I swear I felt things shift right around my mother’s last treatment, which lead me to believe that maybe Jess was just having a hard time thinking about seeing her mother go through the same thing. I know if it were me, that’s what would go through my head.
But over the past week and a half, she’s barely spoken to me. Her texts are brief, phone calls are filled with silence, and we’ve yet to be alone together since that night I went to her place.
My intuition tells me that there’s something going on and she’s running, letting her fear pull her away from me. But I know Jess, and when she’s committed to something, she doesn’t run. It’s just like when she ran to that accident as a teenager—she dedicates herself to a moment and immerses herself in it.
Harboring that knowledge, her recent actions only lead me to believe that she fears something, or I did something to make her mad again. I’m not sure what that would be, and since she won’t really talk to me on the phone, I’m hoping that when I see her at work today, I’ll find a moment to confront her and ask her what’s happening.
I can’t lose her. She owns me now, and I’m not going to stop fighting for her or against her until she accepts that.
“Hey, Piper.” I stride up to the nurse’s station at the beginning of my shift, noticing a few of the regular employees there, but no sign of Jess. I know she was supposed to work today, so I assume she’s refilling supplies at the moment.
Piper glances over her shoulder at me quickly, and then looks away, almost as if she’s uncomfortable. “Oh. Hey, Brooks.”
My curiosity is peaked. Piper never acts shy or nervous around me. “How are things? Tell that husband of yours that I miss his face.”
She smiles over at me, her body seeming to relax. “I will.”
“So, is Jess around?” I survey the area before landing back on Piper’s gaze. “She’s working today, isn’t she?”
“Uh. I think she called out. Sarah is filling in for her.”
My shoulders and neck tighten. “What? Why?”
Piper’s eyes find the floor again and now I’m more than irritated. “I’m not sure.”
I rush across the space between us and get as close to Piper as I can without making her feel uncomfortable. I know she knows why and isn’t telling me. Jess and she are best friends.
“What aren’t you telling me, Piper? What don’t I know?”
“Uh, I think you should talk to Jess.”
I let out a frustrated breath. “I’ve been trying to, Piper. She hardly talks to me lately. Our texts are short or one-sided. And she barely picks up the phone when I call. Did I do something wrong? Can you at least tell me that?”
The look of anguish in Piper’s eyes has my stomach twisting. There has to be something going on. “I… I just think you need to talk to her, Brooks. I’m sorry. It’s not my place to discuss anything with you.”
The clench of my jaw has my temples pounding instantly. “Fine. But tell her if you talk to her that I’m not giving up. I will make her talk to me.”
Piper nods. “I will. And for what it’s worth, Brooks, I hope you don’t give up on her.” With those parting words, she turns away from me and heads down the hall towards the other side of the ER.
My frustration must be seeping out of my pores because I swear, everyone is trying to keep their distance from me. After my short conversation with Piper, all I’ve been able to think about is what Jess could possibly be hiding, or if there was something I said or did to make her so angry with me that she would ignore me. But then I force myself to calm down and avoid jumping to conclusions, accepting that perhaps she’s just having too hard of a time with my mother’s diagnosis since it’s a personal reminder for her, especially since her next scans are scheduled for a few days from now. And if that’s the case and she can’t deal, I don’t know what I’m going to do.
“Alice, is Jess coming in tomorrow?” It’s near the end of our shift and I might actually get out of here at a decent hour. Half of me wants to show up at her house and demand she speak to me, but then the other part thinks maybe I should cool off so I don’t show up with guns blazing.
“Oh. No. She’s actually taking a month off. Wait, why are you asking me that? Shouldn’t you already know?”
“What?” I shout, pulling the attention of several other nurses and doctors in our direction. Alice waves me closer as my skin pricks with fury and she encourages me to take a seat next to her. “What the hell are you talking about? Why would Jess need a month off of work?”
Alice shrugs and then closes down the screen on the computer. “Honestly, I don’t know. And the fact that you don’t know scares me, Brooks. I thought for sure you would be aware.”
“Alice. She’s pushing me away. I don’t know what’s going on, but a month? That just doesn’t make much sense to me.”
“I think you need to ask her, Brooks. Obviously, I’m in the dark. But if you two are as close as I thought you were, surely she will tell you.”
I stand and decide right then and there that there’s no waiting to be done. I’m going to confront Jess tonight.
“I’ll keep you posted, Alice. Thanks.” I head in the other direction, finishing up some last-minute paperwork before I hop in my car and rush to Jess’s apartment, gearing myself up for a battle I’m sure that Jess is going to make me fight.