Page 5 of Someone You Deserve
“I can’t. It’s in the older brother by-laws that I must give you shit about your unrequited crush every hour, on the hour. And getting a front row seat to your misery is just icing on the cake.”
“You’re a dick.”
“Yes, I can be.” Dallas grows serious now, slipping into his concerned, big brother role. “But I also just hate seeing you hung up on her like this.”
I shrug. “It is what it is.”
“It doesn’t have to be, man.”
I pin him with my eyes. “Yes, it does. I’m tired of having this fucking argument with you. Just drop it.”
He holds his palms up. “Fine. I’ll drop it, especially since this is her night and I don’t want to ruin it. But I hate seeing you waste time not going after what you want. It’s been four years, Penn…”
“You think I don’t fucking know that?” I cut him off, tired of having this same conversation with him over and over again.
For the past year especially, Dallas has made it a mission to give me shit about my feelings for Astrid. I guess I thought I was better at hiding it than I was, and then a few weeks ago, I made the mistake of telling him that I had my shot with her three years ago and she said no. Now he really won’t let it go.
“Just because you’re happy and in love now doesn’t mean you have the responsibility to help other people get there, okay?”
He studies me over the rim of his glass as he takes a drink of his beer and grows serious, the teasing lilt in his voice gone. “No, but if the past couple of months have taught me anything, it’s that life’s fucking short and ruminating on shit that we have no control over doesn’t solve anything. All it does is force us to waste time we could spend being happy.”
Our father died eight months ago now, and his death hit my older brother the hardest. Their relationship was tumultuous at best since my father, a retired Marine, never approved of my brother enlisting in the Marines himself. He wanted to save him from the guilt and horror that serving could wreak on his mind, but Dallas didn’t listen. Even up until our dad died, he and Dallas had animosity between them. It wasn’t until Willow entered Dallas’s life and he was forced to face the truth behind our dad’s strong opinions that he finally found some peace.
I’m relieved he has because, as much as I hate that he’s hell-bent on being so involved in my life, I do it right back to him. It was time he started letting go of the anger and guilt he carried around. And Willow finally helped him do that.
But facing my own demons?
Yeah…I don’t have time for that shit.
“Things between us work. There’s no sense in messing with that,” I counter, feeling like I’m defending my friendship with Astrid like always.
Dallas scoffs. “Yeah, I thought things were working in my life, too. And then Willow stormed in and showed me what I’ve been missing.”
“You talkin’ about me?” The woman in question slides in next to my brother as his arm wraps around her waist.
He stares up at her from the stool, lovesick and fucking beaming. It’s sickening, really. “Maybe, Goose,” he replies, using the nickname he gave her shortly after she arrived in town and established a war with the geese that were out to get her.
“Good things?”
“Just how you’ve managed to make rainbows shoot out of his ass,” I answer before he can.
Willow snorts. “Oh, Jesus. I take it Dallas has pissed you off already this evening?”
“Naturally.”
“Penn is just sulking like normal. He’s mad because I keep telling him to make a move with…”
“That’s enough.” I cut him off, standing from my chair and draining the rest of my beer. My phone vibrates in my pocket, and when I take it out to see who’s calling, my pulse spikes. “Fuck, I’ve got to take this.”
“Secret girlfriend?” Willow teases.
“Like I have time for that,” I grate out, sending the call to voicemail so I can call back in a minute.
“Nope, all of his free time is held for Astrid, remember?” Dallas croons, drawing Willow closer to his chest.
Willow swats at him. “Oh, stop. Penn, don’t listen to your brother. I get it.”
“Get what?” I ask, eyeing her skeptically.