Page 21 of Drowning
Seven. Stone. Ace. Their bikes are all here, which must mean they are too. Is spending the summer at the beach house with Eli and the guys Eli's big surprise?
Fuck, if that's the case, then I'm in fucking trouble.
When the sound of the bikes stops rumbling, I get off of mine and turn to face my brother, who has a big, sly smile on hisface. I can already feel my resolve eroding as temptation tightens its grip around my neck as Kane stands behind him, looking devilish in the most delicious way.
"I figured getting away for the summer might help." My brother walks over and wraps his arm around me, ushering me toward the door to go inside.
"With everyone here, though?" I mumble, avoiding Kane's intense gaze as best I can.
"Why not? They're all our family too, Emerson. We all want you to be happy and safe, and you won't be if you were to stay in Dorchester with Damon on the loose." Eli opens the door, and we enter a room filled with complete chaos where Seven, Nova, Stone, and Ace are playing pool in a room off the back balcony and drinking like fish. Though it is not overbearing, the music is loud enough for them to miss us when we enter, giving me time to get used to the sudden discomfort I'm feeling. These guys have been in my life for as long as I can remember, but after having intimate relationships with two of them, a feeling of unease rises in me and I begin to panic.
I cast a quick glance at Kane, who remains lingering nearby, his gaze piercing my own. The memories of our past seem to hang in the air between us. I take a deep breath and try to push them away as I follow Eli further into the chaos, trying to put on a smile even though my heart feels like it's about to burst out of my chest.
However, as I look around the room, a sense of dread creeps in. Being here, surrounded by these familiar faces, awakens memories and emotions that I thought I had buried deep within myself. I take a deep breath and try to push all of the negativity aside, wanting to enjoy my time here even if I don't know how to do it.
"Here's to a summer we'll never forget," Seven says, thrusting a red solo cup into my empty hand, giving me a smoldering look over the brim of his cup as he takes a drink.
I nod, taking a large sip to try to alleviate the anxiety coursing through my veins. Nova approaches Eli, loops her arm through his, and kisses his cheek.
"Glad you guys made it safe. Emmy, I'm glad you decided to come. This summer is going to be so much fun," she laughs, dragging my brother away and leaving me alone so anyone can approach me.
And they do.
"So, Blue Eyes, what do you think?" Stone asks, bumping his shoulder against mine as I scan the room, watching the small crowd sway to the music's beat.
"I think I was ambushed," I laughed, taking another swig of the rum in my cup. "But who knows, this could be fun."
"Nah," Ace speaks up, wrapping me in a hug. "Itwillbe fun, Em."
"I'm going to put my things in my room. I'll be right back," I muttered, pushing through the guys.
I climbed the stairs, trying to hold back tears as I passed pictures of my family on the wall. Eli might have thought this was a good idea, but deep down, I was already regretting it. Every step I took toward my room felt like my heart was breaking and shattering all over again. At this rate, I will never be able to pick up all of the pieces and put my heart back together. I hated thinking negatively, but I couldn't bring myself to see the good in anything.
Walking into my room, I wiped my tears and looked around, realizing that everything was exactly as I had left it last summer. Putting my bag on the floor beside my bed, I walk to the floor-to-ceiling windows and gaze out at the beach, the massive waves crashing against the shoreline.
Putting on my Linkin Park playlist, I abruptly changed moods and began tearing apart my room, wanting no trace of the girl I used to be. I rip pictures and posters down, shatter little glass collectibles I'd been saving since I was little, and I don't stop until I'm out of breath, a sobbing mess on the floor, and until my room is unrecognizable.
At that moment, I didn't care what anyone else said. I was going to make it my goal to make my time here as difficult as possible. What I needed to do was devise a strategy for getting through the summer. I had to be strong to keep from falling deeper into the black hole that was swallowing me.
I stared out at the ocean, watching the waves crash into the shore, wishing I could be anywhere but here. Because being here only reminded me of my parents and the summers we spent here as a family. It was incredibly painful to reflect on the good times, so I refused to do so any longer. I didn't care if I'd ever heal. At least I knew that I wasn't going to wallow in self-pity. I wanted to make the most of my summer, especially since I would be trapped in a house with some of the most forbidden, dangerous men my father had warned me to avoid.
But I also couldn't wait to get out of this place. I needed to get out of the house and away from the suffocating memories it held. I glanced at the door, hoping to make a quick escape, but I knew that running into the guys was inevitable. I desperately needed a change of scenery. After a few moments, I stood up and made my way to the door to the balcony off my room. I couldn't stay here for another minute. I walked out of the house and down the stairs to the beach, hoping that the sound of the waves would help me relax.
twelve
Blue Eyes & Cloudy Skies
S t o n e
As Ace and I emerge from one of the spare rooms, we notice my little blue-eyed beauty sitting on the beach, her feet in the water and her head pointing toward the cloudy sky. We come to a halt and stare out the window at her, knowing she is already struggling just being here. With my father and Seven on a booze run and Eli and Nova occupied, the brilliant idea of keeping her company comes to mind.
"I know you want to go down there," Ace says, noticing how intently my gaze is focused on her.
"Yeah, I just want to make sure she's okay. You want to join me?" I offered, walking down the hall to the back deck, which leads directly to the beach.
Saying nothing, Ace follows, both of us eager to spend some alone time with her before everyone returns and chaos reignites. We grab a pitcher of margaritas and a towel and head outside, the hot air enveloping us as we walk through the white sand, being careful not to step on broken seashells.
When she turns around, I can tell she has been crying, but she smiles through the pain and wipes the makeup from beneath her eyes.