Page 69 of Drowning

Putting the phone to my ear, I clear my throat and manage to find the simple word, "hello?"

"Good afternoon. May I please speak to Emerson Cole?" A chipper voice booms through the phone, surprisingly putting my nerves at ease.

"This is her," I reply, my voice calm and steady.

"Great! This is Dr. Ana Murphy. We have our first therapy session today; is now a good time?"

"Now is perfect," I tell her, a genuine smile spreading across my lips as I continue my walk down the beach.

For the first time in my life, I feel hopeful about starting therapy. I know it's going to take a while for me to be myself again, if I even get there, but I have to try.

Walking into the backyard an hour later, I feel refreshed yet broken at the same time. With my past brought up front and center in my mind and my emotions on my sleeve, I'm not sure what to think or how to feel. I didn't want to talk about certain things, but Dr. Ana told me it was part of the process. Luckily, we didn't get into anything too deep since it was the first session, but what we did get into fucking shattered me.

All I need right now is to relax and enjoy the company of my friends, to push away the dark thoughts and memories that are still lingering in the back of my mind. Plus, the smell of BBQ inthe air, the catchy music, and the laughter of everyone around me are a much-needed distraction.

I take a deep breath and make my way over to Seven, who wraps me in a comforting hug. "Where did you disappear to?" he asks, concern evident in his eyes.

"I needed some air, so I went for a walk," I reply, not wanting to burden him with my troubles.

Reaching into the cooler for a beer, I spot Kane, Ace, and Stone near the fire, while my brother sits by himself on the seawall, his legs dangling over the edge.

"I know what you're thinking, Princess," Seven whispers in my ear, hugging me from behind. "Go."

"What?" I ask, not taking my eyes off of Eli, my heart breaking from the pain surrounding him.

"Go talk to him; it'll be good for both of you." He trails soft kisses along the nape of my neck, giving me a gentle shove toward my brother.

I turn around, looking at Seven, and he gives me a nod of encouragement as I flash a grateful smile. As sad as it is, I needed a little push to finally talk to my brother. It never was this way between us before. Eli and I were always each other's best friend. But when Damon came into the picture, things slowly started changing, mainly because he purposely did his best to pull us apart. He tried to isolate me from everyone, but my brother wouldn't let that happen. Because of his persistence, Damon ended up moving in with me and that's when everything went downhill

Thinking back on all of the good and bad we went through, I make my way over to Eli, settling down next to him on the wall.

"Hey," I say softly, not wanting to startle him. He looks over at me and just nods. We sit in silence for a few moments, and then I gather my courage. "I know we haven't really talked lately,but I just want you to know that I'm sorry for the way I've been handling everything lately."

He reaches over and puts his hand on top of mine, letting out a deep breath that sounds almost agonizing as it leaves his mouth. "You don't need to apologize, Emerson. I'm just glad that... I've missed you," he says, smiling as his eyes glisten from the water filling them.

Wrapping his arm around my shoulders, I lean in and rest my head on him, the soft thumping of his heart soothing me into a blissful state, and I've never felt more relaxed.

We start talking, letting each other in like it's nothing—like we used to. I may be ashamed of the things I've done and of the things I let happen to me, but I know I can move past them. Being able to talk to my brother about it helps a lot, and I kick myself on the inside for not coming to him sooner.

I know things are still rough, and we've both got a long road ahead of us, but for just this moment, together there on the seawall, I know everything is going to be okay eventually. It's going to take time, patience, and a lot of healing, but it feels like we've finally started repairing the fractures that have slowly but surely been tearing us apart. And that's a feeling that's worth holding onto.

thirty-nine

Popsicles & Snowballs

E m e r s o n

Basking in the warmth from the fire, I admire the night sky, adorned with twinkling stars as darkness falls around us, their light enchanting as we lose ourselves in their intricate patterns. Reclining on the soft sand, we gaze upwards, serenaded by gentle music blending with the soothing rhythm of the waves.

After talking to Eli about the last few weeks and what I've been going through, even what happened with Damon, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders, finally allowing me to feel the peace I've been searching for. I thought he'd judge me, scold me, or even hate me, but that wasn't the case. He was supportive in every way I could've imagined, even told me that they hadknown all along what happened, but they were waiting on me to tell them.

I thought when my parents died that I was living in absolute darkness and misery. I thought it couldn't get any darker, but I was wrong. The darkest time of my life was being trapped with Damon those few days and then having to kill him in order to survive. But what made it all worse was the fact that I felt like I couldn't go to my brother or the ones I trusted the most with my secrets. I felt hopeless and alone.

But all of that is behind me now. Talking to my brother helped more than I thought it would, and I'm so fucking glad I did it.

As the wind blows, I get a whiff of Seven, which is intoxicating and addicting, making my nose tingle. He reaches over and laces his fingers with mine, holding onto my hand tightly.

With Eli, Kane, and Stone working on transporting things from the beach house back to our places in the city, me, Ace, and Seven opted to stay behind and soak in as much of the beach life as possible before we head back home tomorrow.