Page 121 of Reverie

“I was a full participant in that and everything that’s happened since.”

“No dick is worth this, Winter!”

“Well, at least I have someone who cares about me!” I snarl. Veronica’s head snaps back as my words land, and disgust and hurt war on her face.

“I—I’m…I didn’t mean it like that,” I say, shame causing me to flush, because I know that I reallydidmean it that way. I don’t want to hurt my best friend, and somehow that’s exactly what I’m doing.

Veronica’s face slips and her mask returns. She’s troubled by this…troubled by me and my decisions.

Why is this even happening right now? What the hell am I even doing right now?

“Veronica—”

“However the fuck you meant it doesn’t matter.” Veronica shifts Summer to her other arm. “Here’s the bottom line. I’m out. Are you coming with me or not?”

My brows furrow. “What do you mean ‘you’re out?’”

She sighs shortly. “I mean that I’ve thought about it, and I don’t feel safe here. And neither should you. So I’m leaving with Summer. I’ll ask one last time: Are you coming?”

Leave Hunter?

The thought starts up a buzzing inside my head.

I can’t leave Hunter.

Even though he’s all but thrown you away?

I shiver and shake my head. I can’t say the words, but my mind only accepts one truth. No, I’m not leaving Hunter.

Even if he’s all but left me.

Veronica is silent as I contemplate my world ending, and she sighs, heavy and long.

“Fine,” she bites out.

“Where the hell do you plan on going?”

“Don’t worry about that,” she says. “The fact is, I need to think about me and Summer. And if you’re not going to save yourself, well…” She shifts Summer higher. “I can’t save you if you don’t want to be saved.”

The weight of the silence between the two of us makes my chest ache, and when she brings me into a crushing one-armed hug, I feel the fingers of panic start to clutch at my throat.

“I love you, Winter. Please love yourself.”

She leaves the kitchen without another word.

SIXTEEN

WINTER

The night before he left with Veronica, Rio delivered the leather Moleskine journal I kept in the nightstand at my apartment. In it, Veronica left me a note. It’s several pages long, but I haven’t managed to read it.

I can’t bring myself to do so.

What I have been able to do, however, is clutch it to my chest as I sobbed for so long that I developed a headache.

Veronica is gone.

Good to her word, she left shortly after our argument in the kitchen. She didn’t say goodbye. She didn’t let me kiss Summer one last time.