Page 124 of Reverie

I nod, and she leaves the courtyard.

What does your heart know, Winter?

Kitty huffs and settles more fully on my lap. He’s not on high alert, but he senses that I’m upset, so he patiently waits for me to come down.

One.

I know that Hunter and I have a lot to work through.

One-two-one.

I know that I have to come back to myself and figure out who I am again. Winter before Hunter doesn’t exist anymore, but I’m not sure who I am today. That changes now.

One-two-three-two-one.

I know that we’ll figure out the rest of this together.

A lick on my cheek brings me back to now, and I pet Kitty behind his collar.

“I’m okay, lovebug,” I say into his fur. “I really am.”

He hops down after a few minutes, and I tell him, “Off-duty,” to give him the freedom to explore. He gives me one of his trademarked side eyes for a beat, then he hops off to chase a butterfly.

I pull the journal from the oversized pocket of my robe and run my thumb across the blank cover.

I know that Veronica had so much to say in her goodbye letter, and now that I’m allowing myself to think about it…I know that not all of her assumptions about Hunter and me are wrong.

She’s correct that there have been so many lows in our relationship, but there have been so many highs too.

And the bottom line for me is this: I amhappywith Hunter as my partner. It’s like the Universe knew that our two battered souls needed foils and thought it wise to bring us together. We both have rough edges and sore spots. We need to figure out how to help each other rather than trigger each other.

I open the cover of the journal, ready to read Veronica’s letter, but I stop at the entry I made more than a year ago.

Winter’s Life List

Genevieve gave me the assignment all those months ago to create a list of things that would make me feel like I’m living.

It felt impossible to come up with ten things, but I managed to write them after agonizing over my responses for entirely too long.

1. Explore U Street

2. Take a cooking class

3. See the latest art collection at the museum

4. Visit the Cherry Blossom Festival next spring

5. Kiss someone on New Year

6. Run in a marathon

7. Go sailing

8. Visit Paris again

9. Go on 15 unique dates

10.Have sexMake love while in love