Page 157 of Reverie
“Do you really like it?” he says with caution, grabbing my outstretched hand and tilting to reflect the overhead lighting. My wedding ring sparkles as it catches the light.
“I so, so do, Hunter.” I feel his hum of contentment against my cheek where it rests on his chest.
“Okay, so let’s think of another example.” I continue to look at the ring but then Hunter distracts me when he begins to rub circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. “Let’s say you’re so angry or overwhelmed or fill-in-the-blank that you want to hit something. Instead of doing that, you might go hug someone. Like me!” I say, turning to face him again.
He’s frozen, and a strange, shocked look washes over him.
Oh.Oh.
“I-I mean,” I start to say.
“Winter, did you really mean it when you said that you liked what happened in the shower?” His voice is a low rasp; his eyes are a bit unfocused. Sensing him going off the deep end a bit, I sit up and straddle him, grabbing him by his face.
“Hunter, please hear me and hear me clearly,” I say. I pause, waiting for his eyes to make contact with mine.
“I loved the breathplay,” I say. I bring my lips closer to his, but he winces.
“See, calling it ‘play’ isn’t right, Winter. There was nothing playful about it.”
“Okay, H,” I say, sitting up straight and crossing my arms. “Would you have killed me?”
He jerks, putting his hands on my hips. “What?”
“Would. You. Have. Killed. Me?”
“No!” he yells, and the sound is loud in the cabin.
“Okay, now that that’s settled. Let me tell you something: the feeling I got when you had your hand around my throat was…” I search for the right word. There are so many that fit the definition. “It was ecstasy. I felt high, like I was floating. I think that—I feel that?—”
I chew on my lip, but I don’t look away from Hunter.
“Keep going, Sunbeam. No secrets. No unspoken thoughts that need to come out between us,” he says, his face serious.
I rally myself.
“Pain and sex as a concept is complicated for me. It shouldn’t be—in fact, pain and sex should never be in the same sentence for me after what Adam did. But, with you, it’s different. I don’t think it would be like that for anyone else or with anyone else, but with you?”
I bring a hand to my heart and another to my stomach, schooling myself to breathe as deeply as my growing belly allows into the space between my skin and my palms.
“With you, I loved it. I think because I know how much you love me. I know how much you don’t want toharmme. You don’t want me damaged. You want me whole. You want me to be happy and safe and loved and cared for. And I want those same things for you. I trust you not to destroy me, Hunter Brigham. There are enough people in the world who want that honor, but I’ll never expect that with you.”
Hunter doesn’t move from his position beneath me.
“I loved it so much, Hunter, because I saw all of you. The real you. That isn’t to say that Iwantyou broken. I don’t. But you trusted me to see you—to know you—and I’ll honor that responsibility for as long as I live.”
We’re silent and I could catalog all the different sounds on the yacht if I cared to. But then Hunter sits up and crushes me to his chest in a fierce hug.
And we just breathe. Inhale. Exhale. All in sync.
Hunter and I…we justare.
When a loud, friendly beep rings in our room followed by the Chief Stewardess’ announcement that we have half an hour until dinner, Hunter and I pull back from each other, but it’s like there’s an invisible string connecting us.
“You know you’re never getting rid of me now, right? You’re stuck with me, babe.” He chucks me under the chin, grinning. It’s like the real Hunter is back. Well, not back. Here, for the first time ever in his life.
He looks and feels…free.
“I don’t want to. So lucky me,” I reply.