Page 163 of Reverie

Winter turns quiet.

“I’m an asshole,” she says, and when I sit up to protest, she says, “No, let me finish.”

I snap my mouth shut, waiting.

“Veronica is my best friend—my sister by all accounts—and I love her so, so much…but I also want her to let me live my life a little. She worries so much about me, and I’m grateful that I have someone who cares enough to want to interfere in my life. And yet, I find myself overwhelmed by how smothering she can be sometimes,” she says.

I see. “What was so smothering in your last interaction?” I ask.

Winter blows out a breath and turns her head toward the open doors.

We have a full moon tonight, and it’s brighter and bigger than in the city by a wide margin. I can see Venus with my naked eye, the sky is so clear.

And because of that brightness, I see it when a tear trails down her face and across her nose.

“Sunbeam,” I say, trying to comfort her.

“I am an asshole,” she repeats, adding more emphasis. “Veronica was very, very concerned about what happened in the shower.” She inhales and exhales, her voice stuttering. “She brought up her concerns to me and they were legitimate…and I all but attacked her for it. She wanted me to leave you, and I couldn’t handle that.”

She starts to cry in earnest when she utters the last truth, and I pull her into me so she can cry until she feels better.

Until she lets all this grief out.

“I miss Veronica, and I am so embarrassed right now. How can I tell her that I loved what you and I did together with a straight face? How can I explain it to her in a way that doesn’t make me look like a brainwashed victim?”

I think about that for a moment. “You are allowed to set boundaries with Veronica.Healthyboundaries, baby. And maybe you two have been so close for so long, it’s hard to grow up. But growing up doesn’t have to mean growing apart,” I say.

She smiles, laughs. “When did you become Dr. Phil?”

I shrug. “I’ve been hanging out with you a lot. It was bound to happen.”

We fall into a comfortable silence, and she curls into my side again.

“I’ve been thinking,” she says, but she stops herself before she finishes her sentence.

“What have you been thinking, baby? Don’t leave me in suspense,” I reply.

She chuckles a bit, but it’s a shy sound. “I’ve been thinking about your need for control in the bedroom.”

Immediately, my chest tenses. I knew asking her to dive into the dark side with me was way too out of her character. She’s only doing this for me. She doesn’t really like this. I’m hurting her?—

“Hey,” she says, putting her hand on my jaw. “Relax. It’s not anything bad.” She tilts her face down to kiss me right above my nipple.

I try to release my locked breath.

“I was wondering…have you ever given up control when having sex? Like, a power exchange?”

I try not to snort, but the look I give her must telegraph my response.

“Okay, I’ll take that as a no,” she says. She puts her cheek on my chest again, looking up at me for long moments.

“What do you think about trying something new with me?” she says, not moving her eyes from mine.

Something shifts in my chest, a niggle of apprehension.

“Like what?”

She smiles slowly. “What if we were to have sex,” she says.