Page 183 of Reverie

I need Kitty.

I need my meds.

I need Hunter.

Hunter is gone. Hunter is gone. Hunter is off on a suicide mission.

I grab the glass of water left on the kitchen counter. I need water. I need water, I need water, I need water?—

I bring the glass to my lips with a shaking hand, and it’s a miracle that it doesn’t all spill on my shirt.

I swallow—one, two, three—gulps.

But the water balls in my tense esophagus, mingling with a sharp, unpleasant taste of bile, and the discomfort sends me into a new panic.

I realize I’m crying, sobbing, when I land on my knees next to the stools, trying to bring air in through my nose. My clogged nostrils bring a resurgence of terror, doubling my misery.

Get to the safe room, Winter!

I lay on my side, letting the cool marble floors ground me.

“One. One-two-one. One-two-three-two-one….”

I close my eyes even though the action causes tears to roll into my ears.

“One. One-two-one. One-two-three-two-one….”

Inhale. Exhale.

Oh, my god. Please bring him back to me. Please don’t let him leave me to battle this world without him.

As soon as the thought comes, I’m barreled over with nausea.

I throw up on the tile, lifting myself onto my palms at the last second.

God, if you see it good, please return my husband to me. And Ella, too. And help her get some sense knocked into her. But please, not literally knocked into her. Amen.

Distantly, I hear the sound of footsteps tapping on the floor. I’m immediately on high alert because I’m supposed to be alone.

Someone is in here with me, and they’re walking toward me fast.

I pull myself to my knees, but the movement causes my brain to swim, and everything tilts to the side. Slipping. I’m slipping.

“No,” I slur, struggling with the words I want to say. I straighten my upper body, slapping my palm on the countertop. The action causes the water glass to tip over and crash to the floor.

You’re gonna keep yourself safe. Right, baby?Hunter’s words from before the raid when things were simpler whisper in my ear.

“Hunter,” I choke out, moving one knee and then another.

But it’s too late because darkness engulfs my vision.

When I come to,the first thing I realize is that the ground is rocking beneath me. Having spent a week on Hunter’s yacht, I can tell that I’m out in the ocean, and that thought terrifies me.

I don’t know how to pilot a boat, and swimming in the shark-infested Caribbean waters simply isn’t a good idea.

I crack an eye open, aware that I’m lying on my side on the floor. With my hands tied behind my back, I try to take in some of my surroundings without alerting anyone who might be around me. I’m bound by zip ties, and the plastic grates on the skin of my wrists. My legs are also bound together at the ankles.

Just then, the baby does a full flip in my womb, and I try not to choke on the sob that I feel trapped in my chest. At this moment, my baby is here, kicking around.