Page 193 of Reverie
“I’m a complicated person. I mean, who isn’t, right? Humanity, living, is complicated. I know you think that Hunter has changed me, but he really hasn’t. What has changed, though, is that all the shit I’ve been through since Adam took me has given me a new outlook on my life and what it means for me to live.” I pull another tissue from the box just to give my hands something to do.
“My life with Hunter is messy. We’re both very broken people, but we’re healing on our own, and we’re healing together.”
I stop speaking, assessing if there’s more I want or need to say, and Veronica fills the silence.
“I know he’s complicated, but I wouldn’t say you two are broken, necessarily. He told me…a lot of what he’s gone through. As a kid, you know?”
I startle, sitting up straighter. “What did he tell you?” I whisper, and Veronica’s face turns sad, empathetic.
“He told me a lot that lets me know that you and he are not so different at all.”
I stay silent at that admission.
“The bruises,” I begin, but she waves me off. “No, let me get this out.”
I take a deep breath.
“The bruises, what Hunter and I did that night…it freaked him out to see me hurt because heneverwants to hurt me. I really am safe with him, Rons. But…I’m learning that I, um, I like that stuff.” My eyes flick to the tiled floor and I know I’m turning into a tomato with how hot my face feels.
“I see,” she says, amusement full in her voice. I look back at her, and at her expression, I suck my teeth. She gives me a broad smile, and I feel some of the tension leave my chest.
“Do you see?” I reply.
“Yep. Not only do you clearly have a breeding kink, but you’re into pain play too. But you know what? Who am I to judge? I won’t yuck your yum, babes.”
I bark out a laugh, and it feels so good when she joins me, the tension cracking into several pieces. As we sit on the bed together with tears streaming down our faces from laughter and the release of sadness, it feels like maybe what comes next won’t be so unmanageable after all.
“Can I talk now?” she says, wiping her eyes.
I nod at her and say, “Sure.”
She straightens and repositions herself more fully on the bed before huffing a sigh and kicking off her shoes to sit cross-legged on the mattress.
“You weren’t wrong to say that I’ve made you my life. I’ve…I’ve had some help to realize that I’ve been so overbearing and overprotective of you and why. And....”
She trails off.
“And?” I add.
Taking a deep breath, she continues, “And it’s because I felt like I was responsible for not saving you the first time with Adam.”
When she finishes her sentence, I stare at her with my mouth agape.
“Veronica, what the hell are you?—”
“Listen, just...just listen, okay?”
I snap my mouth closed.
“I have perspective on it now. I started replaying all the moments we had together and all the signs of abuse that were obviously there but that I missed.”
I suck in a breath. “Veronica, I didn’t tell anyone what was happening. I tried really hard to hide all the signs. It’s not your fault that you didn’t see them.”
“That’s the thing, Winter. Ididsee them. I didn’t fully get the picture at the time, but I saw that Adam was too close to you, and I didn’t intervene because?—”
She stands and wipes a hand over her lips as she walks to the open balcony doors. After a moment, she turns and faces me with such a guilty expression that I want to jump up from the bed too.
“I was jealous of you then,” she says finally.