Page 137 of Fierce-Dane

He moved in and sat. She still looked pissed off, but there was some sadness in her eyes.

If she was ending things with him, he wasn’t sure how he was going to be able to handle it.

How he could tell his kids it was over when they were just as in love with Sloane as him.

He’d never stay with someone just because his kids liked them. He had to like the person as much as he loved them.

That was what could make this hard.

Nope. Mel told him he didn’t fight for her. But he was going to damn well fight for Sloane.

“First off, I’m not going to apologize for having Zander look into Simon.”

“Because you think you were right to do it?” she asked.

“I do,” he said. “I love you. I love Shiloh. I needed to know that there wasn’t a chance someone was going to come out of your past and into your life and cause trouble.”

“Why?” she asked.

“Because if that could happen I wanted to be prepared,” he said. “I get it. We can’t plan or prepare for everything. I know that as well as you do. But if I can prepare or plan then I’m going to try to. That is all it was about. I didn’t give two shits about any medical information on the guy or his traits. He’s not you just like I’m not who birthed me.”

“That’s the only reason you did it?” she asked.

“Yes. I’m not lying. I haven’t lied to you once and I won’t.”

“Why not tell me you were having Zander do that?” she asked. “Because you knew I’d say no?”

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t decide to do it until a few weeks ago. He said he’d look, but he couldn’t guarantee he’d find anything. I knew you’d say no, but if you didn’t I didn’t want your hopes up and nothing to come out of it.”

“My hopes wouldn’t be up for anything,” she said. “I told you I don’t want to go back to that part of my life. I know I’ve got half siblings out there. I’m raising one now. But if another one from the cult showed up on my door and asked me to raise them I wouldn’t.”

“Because you have no connection to Simon but you did to your mother?” he asked.

“That’s right. I don’t know that man other than what he does to people. How he controls them. The mind games he did with my mother. There are plenty of other people who could take on another half sibling, but no one that could take Shiloh. She has a part of my mother in her that maybe I didn’t get to see. Or at least a part I can share with someone else.”

“You didn’t have that with Sabrina?” he asked.

“I didn’t. I never will. She and I are two different people. I don’t want to think she has more traits of Simon than me. I just don’t know. But we both have to live our lives our way and come to terms on our own.”

“Just like I had to,” he said. “It took me years to do it with Mel. I’ve been beating myself up for weeks about her saying that I didn’t fight for her.”

“Oh, don’t go there,” she said. “Don’t use that as an excuse for asking Zander to look into things.”

He got up and ran his hands through his hair. He did that when he was frustrated a lot. “You know something? I lose for trying to win. Nothing ever goes right in my life. And this isn’t a poor Dane speech. What I realized the past few weeks with my ex is that we were never going to make it work. It was better to end it when we did. And I spent years alone while she happily went about her life. But the minute I find someone that I love more than I ever thought I could love another person, Mel is back to blaming me for things. For not fighting for her. I’m telling you right now, I’m fighting for you, but I’m not using my ex as a crutch.”

“You’re going to fight for me?” she asked.

He wasn’t sure why she was so stunned by it. “I am,” he said. “Because I know you love me just as much. But I alsoknow you’re scared. I can understand your life as you understand mine. My kids, they opened their hearts to you and it’s not something they do easily.”

“Shiloh heard us fighting,” she said quietly. “That’s why she’s not here. I didn’t know how this was going to work out and she was upset. I don’t want her to go through it.”

He moved closer and sat next to her on the couch. Maybe this was the sadness he saw in her eyes. “What happened?”

“She heard me tell you to leave. She was crying, afraid that you were gone for good and not coming back.”

“No,” he said. “I’m not. What did you tell her?”

“That people fight, but it’d be fine.”