Page 82 of His Obsession
“So, hewasdelusional then? That was not what he told me.”
I choked back a laugh. “Understatement of the century. Jimmy tried pleading insanity because he convinced some courthouse shrink he was schizophrenic, but because of his repeated history of domestic violence, they threw the plea out. I testified against him, and they sentenced him to death. It was the second most liberating day of my life.”
She leaned down and brushed her lips against mine. “I’m sorry you had to re-live that for me.” She stepped away and returned to her seat. Her kiss still lingering on my lips.
“I didn’t re-live itforyou, I re-lived itbecauseof you.” It came out harsher than it should have, but the reality of the situation was there, staring me in the face.
I still had unresolved anger towards her. If she had just listened to me, none of this would have happened. She wouldn’t be broken, ready to bolt, and I wouldn’t have to see the damage to her soul in her eyes every time I looked at her.
“I’m sorry, there isn’t anything I can do to take it back.”
“Is your curiosity settled?” I asked, refusing to acknowledge her apology. She shouldn’t need to apologize; I shouldn’t make her feel that way. That was just the bastard I was, though.
“Are you really an arms dealer?”
My breath hitched, stunned she would have knowledge of that. “Not exactly.”
She raised her eyebrows and nodded, messing with the buttons on her blouse, and she kept her gaze to the floor.
“How long have you been watching me?” Her words were soft, and she sounded scared to hear the answer.
I blew out a heated breath and wiped my hand down my face. I was done sitting in a fucking confessional, speaking my sins, waiting for my fifty Hail Mary’s.
“A long time,” I said, gritting my teeth.
Jimmy let everything he knew come out of his mouth with her, didn’t he? I didn’t even know he knew this shit.
“How long is a long time?” Her hands went from her buttons to her pants, picking at imaginary lint.
Her fidgeting was driving me to a place she wouldn’t want to accept right now. I needed to tie her down and stop her from feeling anything but me. To take her mind away from this new reality and create another, a safe place for her to escape, but that wasn’t going to happen.
“About a year and a half, but I’m guessing you already knew that?”
A gasp parted her lips, and tears settled in her eyes as she nodded. She bit at her thumb, holding them back. Surely, out of everything that she had been through, this wouldn’t be what caused her to walk out that door forever… would it?
“Why?”
“I saw you at my club one night, and I instantly felt the need to protect you. You looked so much like her, my mother. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t stop myself.”
Ah fuck, how do I explain this?
I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath. “We were never supposed to make contact. You were never supposed to know about me. I was just watching to protect you.” I finished the last of the liquor and poured another.
“You were just going to watch me? Club Adrestia is yours?”
“Yes, it’s my club.”
She shook her head and bit her lip. The cogs were turning, and the puzzle pieces were clicking into place for her.
“So, what happened, what changed?” she asked as she paced the room.
“I don’t know, it turned into an infatuation, an obsession. I developed feelings I didn’t even know it was possible for me to feel. I couldn’t get you out of my head.”
She said nothing, just paced and bit the tip of her thumb and nodded as if having an internal debate with herself. She stopped dead in her tracks and looked at me with a blank face. All the tension in her shoulders dissipated. I realized she had kept all her thoughts to herself. She wasn’t offering an opinion on anything. It wasn’t like her.
Her gaze met mine, and we locked on. “What happened to Jimmy?”
“Do you absolutely want the answer to that?”