Page 144 of The Harbinger
Do I really want to do this again?
Was I willing to abandon my contingency plan just because of a tough day?
As I gazed at the powder before me, memories of the euphoric rush flooded my mind. But just as quickly, the image of the woman’s lifeless face flashed before me. I forced myself to look into the mirror and meet my gaze.
“Well, Lex, she’s not here.”
I steeled myself, leaned over, and snorted the entire line.
A burn hit my nostrils like embers floating in the air. A rush of vibrations struck my brain. I leaned back, dropping the cardboard onto the vanity, and pinched my nose. “Oh, God.” I licked my finger, swiped the remaining crystals down the line, and rubbed it on my gums.
The pain and stinging just below my shoulder and arm dissipated, but it wasn’t enough to wipe the reality of Sacha’s intentions away, my tortured past, and the violence he’d enacted without remorse.
He’d brutalized Ivan in front of his staff and me. What did he do in private?
My heart raced as agitation settled around my skin like a coarse blanket, scratchy and damp.
I snorted the second line, and my body electrified, my flesh zinging with energy. “Yesss.”
With a burst of energy coursing through my veins, I twisted off the bench and spun in a circle, my legs moving, my arms swaying.
A raucous laugh bubbled up, and I let it out in full force. It was a laugh born out of pure joy and reckless abandon, a moment of freedom in a life weighed down by fear and danger. For a moment, I’d forgotten about Sacha and his twisted plans, and the world around me faded away into a blur of colors and sounds.
The addictive sensation gave me a temporary reprieve from the harsh realities of my new life. Exhaustion seeped away from my weary bones, the cocaine my fuel. It was a dangerous addiction that had the power to both destroy me and set me free.
Why did I ever stop this?
I danced until the high tumbled down like Jack and Jill, the need to find Sacha growing until I sat down on the bench and snorted the last line, bringing my high back to its perfected crescendo.
There was nothing left. My heart raced as I stared at the leftover residue. How could I take that final step over the banister now? What would Sacha think about my suicidal means of escape?
Where was he anyway?
My feet moved of their own accord, shuffling softly against the floor as I made my way into the dark hallway.
“Sacha?”
My voice reverberated along the foyer as I hurried down the stairs, the polished marble floor unblemished by any crimson stains.
Katya and her controlling mother must have been busy bees while I waited for him to show up.
A glimmer of light pierced through the crack under the office door. A man grunted, followed by a woman’s laughter, sounding oddly familiar.
I froze in my tracks, fury blazing in my veins as I grabbed the knob.
Did he abandon me to savor the company of another woman? Was our bond so feeble that I had no right to demand his fidelity?
Her laughter echoed once more, obscured by a veil of mystery.
With trembling limbs trapped in the mire, I grasped the knob and flung the door ajar, unleashing a torrent of emotions.
“Rule number two, Mia.”
Sacha lounged behind his desk, his chiseled, tattooed chest exposed to the cool air, a solitary figure in the dimly lit room. A tumbler of crystalline liquid glimmered in his grasp as he gazed at the glowing screen of his laptop. He pressed the spacebar, and my nerves ached with relief.
“I wanted to see where you were.”
“Here I am.” He raised his glass, took a sip, and then placed it on the coaster beside his computer. “Now leave.”