Page 230 of The Harbinger
“So you told me,” I began, my voice rising with anger, “that I would be cured and finally have a chance to reclaim my life. And then you allowed him to torture me in a basement?” The betrayal stung like a fresh wound, and I couldn’t help but feel a sense of anger and helplessness at the situation. How could Jenny have allowed this to happen? How could she have betrayed my trust in such a profound way? As my phone rang, I silenced it through my pocket, my attention fully focused on the woman sitting next to me.
“Why do you believe he tortured you?” She reached out and placed her hand on my arm. I glanced at her, and she pulled it away.
I closed my eyes, trying to block out the images that flooded my mind at her words. “I have these flashes of memory,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “Where I’m strapped to a table, and it’s dark. I’m alone and scared, and I’ve pissed all over myself. I’m hungry and thirsty, and the pain...the things he’d say to me.” My throat tightened as I struggled to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. The memories were so vivid, so real, that it was like I was reliving them all over again.
“Mia,” she reached out again, but fell short, then sat back in her seat. “Nikolai utilized a form of electrotherapy known as Psychic Driving to reprogram your mind. He cared for you during this process, strapping you to the table to ensure you wouldn’t hurt yourself. And yes, sometimes you’d lose your bowels, but you were never held that way for long.”
As Jenny continued speaking, the memory of Nikolai pressing a shining object to my temples flashed through my mind. The sensation was so intense that I couldn’t help but lean back against the door, my heart pounding. The fear and helplessness I had felt at that moment came rushing back to me in a flood of emotions, and for a moment, I was lost in the memory, reliving every second of that horrible experience.
“But why was I left alone in the basement for days without food or water?”
“That never happened.” Again, she shook her head. “There’s a process in the human mind called confabulation. It’s a way for the mind to compensate for missing memories by creating false ones. It’s a protective mechanism against trauma. You were never left alone during the study. I watched through the monitors, and Nikolai was always there. He even took a year of leave from the church and his job so he could be here.”
“I don’t believe you. Why would I make it up?”
Jenny’s shoulders sagged. “You didn’t make anything up. Your brain did what it was designed to do… protect you.”
That’s impossible. Why would my brain do that? Why would anyone? Wouldn’t that cause more harm? Was my memory of meeting her on the streets also false?How was I to know?“We were on the streets together. Correct? How come you pretended to be homeless?”
“The purpose of your escape was to test the program’s effectiveness in the real world. The initial test was to see if you would recognize me, and when you did, you were brought back.”
“You did it more than once?”
She nodded. “Twice we brought you back, and the second time, you didn’t recall anything. You had nightmares and called out Fuego, a name you gave Nikolai during the first week, but other than that, you were fine.”
“What about the hallucinations?”
She glanced around again as though the hairs on the back of her neck rose. “It’s possible that you experienced hallucinations or delusions as a side effect of the electrotherapy. It’s not uncommon for patients to report visual or auditory distortions after the treatment.”
My heart sat heavy in my chest, the pressure pushing down on my lungs. So if that memory was real, she’d fed me cocaine, driving my addiction to new heights. “Why the hell did you give me the cocaine?” I demanded, my voice laced with anger. “Sacha forced me to detox; it was like being trapped in my own personal hell. And even now, I still have these damn cravings.”
Jenny took a deep breath and averted her eyes. “Maybe you should answer that,” she suggested as my phone rang again.
“No,” I snapped, silencing the device with a quick squeeze. “I want answers. Why did you give me the drugs?”
“Using barbiturates and psychedelics was part of the process. Initially, I had reservations about this, as it could potentially have negative consequences. However, Nikolai convinced me that it was necessary for the program to work.”
“And what exactly was the plan?”
She frowned. “Well, I’m assuming Nikolai is deceased, and…”
My cell phone erupted with a piercing ring as a solitary tear trickled down my cheek. I grunted in annoyance, reaching into my pocket to retrieve the device, but inky black tendrils laced around my heart as I stared at the caller ID.
“It’s him, isn’t it?” she whispered, her voice barely audible above the ringing.
I nodded, my throat tight with emotion.
“You might as well answer it.”
I hesitated for a moment, my thumb hovering over the green button. But then, with a deep breath, I pressed down and raised the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“Mia, get out of the car and walk away.”
My heart raced, pounding in my ears and drowning out every other sound. This was the voice I had longed to hear, day and night, but now that it was finally here, it brought with it only terror and dread.
“What does he want?” Jenny asked.
“He wants me to get out of the car.”