Page 110 of Above All Else

I sat motionless, my knuckles white andpalms damp. My heart pounded an anarchic, relentless beat in my chest.

Amber.

Her name rippled through me like a ghost.

I closed my eyes, fighting back the surge clawing at my throat.

She tried to destroy my family, but my mother destroyed two.

“Bailiff.” The judge gestured toward my mother in an orange jumpsuit, her hair streaked with gray strands, the dark brown color fading rapidly.

She won’t last.

She half-turned in her chair, staring at me from the other side of the aisle. “I’m sorry, Junie.”

My chin quivered as I exhaled slowly through puckered lips, my hand trembling in my lap.

“Junie, please. Hear me out.”

I stared straight ahead, Linda and my mother in my periphery, Carter on my other side.

My stomach bubbled, the acid rising, burning everything in its path. My molars ached as I ground them together. I swiped my free hand over my damp cheeks and sniffled as my mother wailed—the bailiff carting her off to begin her sentence.

How did my life turn out like this?

Dad sat on my mother’s side of the aisle, his shoulders hunched and his eyes red.

I hadn’t spoken to him in six months, his support of her a shameful beating to my soul.

We stood and followed Linda and Frank out of the courthouse. My gaze pointed toward the ground, avoiding my father.

“That couldn’t have been easy for you, June.” Linda pressed her hand to my upper arm, then released me. “I appreciate you coming.”

Forcing down the tightness in my throat, I nodded.

What do I say?

We all hurt, our souls damaged with such a senseless act.

Amber wasn’t perfect, but she didn’t deserve to die.

Not like that.

She needed help.

“June-bug?”

A cold sneer twisted across Linda’s face, and then she glanced at me, her features softening. “We’re here if you need us.”

I gave a quick dip of my head, and Linda and Frank walked away, a tissue to her nose, her arm wrapped in his.

“Hi, Dad.”

Carter’s hand stiffened in mine as he tucked me behind him, protecting me from my father like he had with Paul.

“Uh...“ He shoved his hands into his suit pockets, shifting from one foot to the other. “Can we,uh, talk?“ His voice cracked as his eyes darted to Carter’s face, then away, refusing to linger. “In private.” His throat bobbed, and he tugged at his collar as if the air thickened.

“Anything you say, you can say in front of Carter.”