Page 51 of Air of Seduction
“Ronan?” Aidan’s voice sounds from far away.
I blink my eyes open, my gaze locking on my hands. They’re splayed out on the dash in front of me while I’m heaving like I’m about to throw up.
“Ronan, what’s going on?” A hand squeezes my shoulder. I assume it’s Aidan’s.
“I can’t…lose…another one.”
“What are you talking about?” Lucas’s voice sounds from behind me.
I’ve never told them what happened. I’ve never told them what is possible for us. And as far as I know, none of the other elementals have experienced the same as I have.
Perhaps it’s time they knew. Even if telling them will rip open the old wound. Except it won’t, because it never closed. It’s been festering for almost two centuries.
Leaning back in my seat, I take a deep breath to try to find some semblance of control. “I’ve got something to tell you, something I should have told you a long time ago.”
“Okay.” Aidan’s voice is filled with concern.
Glancing at him, I notice he’s put away his phone. I launch into my speech before I can change my mind. “Patricia waspregnant with my child when she was killed. And the only reason I know that is because I arrived in time to feel my daughter’s agony as she died in her mother’s womb. There was nothing I could do to save her. She was too small to survive outside the womb. Her life was forfeited when her mother died, and her father couldn’t help her.”
The car is so quiet I’m sure I would have heard if a speck of dust fell to the floor. Instead, there’s a tiny splash, as one of my tears falls from my jawline and hits my clavicle.
I’ve never cried for my dead daughter before, even though the pain has been enough to suffocate me. But for some reason saying the words out loud, telling someone else, has opened the floodgates to the reservoir that’s been filling for two hundred years.
“Fuck,” Lucas mumbles. “I’m not doubting you, but I still have to ask. You’re sure the baby was yours?”
I nod slowly, having already anticipated his question. “Yes, there’s no doubt. I felt her, and she had my power.”
“Fuck me.” Aidan’s voice is wobbly. “This changes everything. I thought I couldn’t have children, and although I’ve taken my precautions at times, I haven’t always. And when I have, it’s been to reassure the woman I was with that she wouldn’t be left with a lasting result of our fun. Does this mean we might have children out there we don’t know about?”
My heart clenches painfully when I think about Payton and what might be happening inside her womb as we speak.
“I don’t think I have.” There’s a hint of joy in Lucas’s voice. “Erica was the first human I had sex with, and if one of the shifter women I’ve been with had a child, I think I would have found out. I can’t wait to tell my mate that there’s a chance we can have a family. She accepted without question that we wouldnever have children, but I think she would relish the possibility of becoming a mother.”
I don’t share his enthusiasm. Our team is constantly fighting evil beings that would love nothing better than to kill us or one of our loved ones. I won’t survive losing another child, and if I die, Payton dies with me.
“You don’t want another baby?” Aidan’s question makes me realize that I’m shaking my head.
I turn to look at him. “No. I can’t lose another one. But I might not have a choice. Payton might already be…” I flinch away from the word, from the pain associated with it.
He frowns. “If you knew it was possible, why didn’t you prevent it?”
I squeeze my eyes closed. “Because I lost control. All I could think of was…her.”
“Because she’s your mate.” There’s a smile in Aidan’s voice when he says the words, and it isn’t a question.
I nod. “She is.”
Aidan chuckles. “I knew it. Congratulations. Now all we have to do is help Olivia accept Noah, and we’ll all be mated. Who would have thought? If someone had told me a few weeks ago what would happen, I would have laughed in their faces. And then there’s Markus meeting a brother and finding out there’s another one out there. More has changed in the last few weeks than in the rest of my lifetime. It almost makes me worry what’s going to happen next? Perhaps there are intelligent lifeforms other places in the universe that will pay us a visit.”
“Don’t.” Lucas sighs. “We have enough trouble here on earth as it is. We certainly don’t need more.”
I completely agree, but that’s one thing I’m not going to worry about. I’ve got more than enough on my plate as it is.“Let’s go. I need to speak to Payton. She doesn’t know anything about this yet.”
Aidan starts the car. “And I need to speak to Ingrid. She deserves to know as soon as possible.”
I nod. No matter how much the possibility scares me, I have to tell Payton what happened two hundred years ago and what that means for us. But first I need to explain who she is to me.
I should have told her immediately when I realized she’s my mate, but hopefully, she won’t mind the delay. And hopefully, she’ll be as thrilled to be mine as I am to be hers. Because no matter my earlier reservations, I can’t even contemplate a life without her.